Denham Court Female Escorts
Classy girl next door sensual and discreet
Beautiful 28 year old blonde, slim petite with a naturally warm, girl next door charm. Well presented, elegant and sensual experience with a genuine, down to earth vibe
Violet Vanessa
My Name is Violet Vanessa, I am a professional Sex working from locations around Sydney and the Western Suburbs.
I am available for INCALL’s
**** Incalls may not be available at certain times during the day or night.
INCALL’s
½ HR $200
¾ HR $250
1 HR $300
The above prices are a guide as I offer different packages.
Full Service ****No Extra Charge****
Blow Job - Hand Job - Multiple Positions Sex (Missionary, and from Behind) - Cum on body ((Excluding Face & Hair) - lots of fun to be had -
- No Cap on how many times you can cum in a service
Girlfriend Experience ****Extra $50****
Blow Job - Hand Job - Multiple Positions Sex (Missionary, and from Behind) - Cum on body (Excluding Face & Hair) - Light & Passionate Kissing - Sensual Massage - Bubbly and Out Going Attitude - Cuddles - Affection - Attention and Intimacy guaranteed.
- No Cap on how many times you can cum in a service.
- The Girlfriend Experience is suited for those who would like a deeper slower-paced intimate connection, passionate authentic service. That will leave you wanting more.
Porn Star Experience ****Extra $50****
Blow Job - Hand Job - Multiple Positions Sex (Missionary, and from Behind) - Cum on body (Excluding Face & Hair) - Light & Passionate Kissing - Light Spanking - Golden Shower on You & Me (from the neck down) - Deep Throat - Anal (At My Discretion) - Medium to Light Kink (To Be Discussed!!!) - Natural Oral *at my discretion - Natural Sex *at my discretion
- No Cap on how many times you can cum in a service.
- This Porn Star Experience is suited for those who like high energy, high intensity and is a less restrictive service. This option comes with all the bells and whistles that DO NOT come with the other packages mentioned above
These Prices include the above services.
All photos and descriptions of me are on this website & Instagram Violet_Vanessa2020 please feel free to contact me or DM me here
No Photos will be sent out via text...
NO PRIVATE NUMBERS.
Contact me via Phone, Text or Instagram.
Forms of Payment:
Cash OR
Beem It. (Purple logo) please have app set up and ready to go. This is a discreet app where no personal detail and bank details are exchanged. Payment goes In straight away.
NO PAY ID AVAILABLE.
Hope to hear from you. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me.
💋🔥🌹 Mistress Hayley 🌹🔥💋 BDSM ⛓️ FINDOM ⛓️FOOT FETISH ⛓️ FEMDOM
Hi I’m Mistress Hayley
I offer three different type of sessions
1 - BDSM SESSIONS
2 - FOOT WORSHIP SESSIONS
3 - WALLET DRAINING SESSIONS
BDSM Sessions ⛓️💥😈
30mins $250
45mins $300
60mins $350
-Collar and lead/leash
-foot fetish
-submission/headscissors
-Stockings / panties fetish
-boot worship
-cross dressing
-Bondage
-Blindfolds
-Dildos ( handheld & strap on ) extra $100
-Discipline
-Hair pulling
-Puppy training / dog play
-spanking
-pussy worship ( extra $50)
-smothering
-choking
-spiting
-trampling
-face slapping
-clothed face sitting
-CBT
-edging
-breath play
I also do BDSM sessions with my sister Monae so you can come worship TWO MISTRESSES in your session.. 👯♀️ 💥
BDSM Double Session 👯♀️
30min $400
60min $600
2hrs $1200
Foot Worship Sessions 👣👅💦
15min $100
30min $150
45min $200
60min $250
Extras In Foot Worship Sessions
Hand-Job - $50
Foot-Job - $50
Wallet Draining Sessions 💸💰
"Do you feel it, that mix of fear and excitement? That's your wallet, begging for release, ready to worship me one tribute at a time."
Contact me if you’re worthy 💵🤑💖
Follow me on ⬇️
Snapchat 👻 - mstrssh
Miss Amber-rose
Hot and ready as always, looking to have nothing but genuine kinky fun🫦. I'm Far from shy and always down to try new things as long as you ask nicely... I'm always open to most of your wildest and devious dreams,desires & fetish. It's about time you stop holding back your thoughts and allow me to bring them to reality, I'm layed back open minded and love to have a fun & memorable time, last but not least let's not forget I'm super fucking horny ALL THE TIME! hit me up xx
Mistress Divinity is ready for your service
Professional Dominatrix-
Come and share those secret fantasies with your new Mistress. If you are a slave or submissive or just want to try something different I can look after your kinky needs.
Specialising in Fem Dom & an introduction to BDSM
Pussy/Foot/Arse Worship
Slave/servant Obedience
Control/Domination
Impact Play Light/heavy
Face Sitting/smother/Queening
CBT-cock/ball torture
Chastity/cock Cage
Anal training
Rimming
Pegging
Prostrate Massage
Cock Milking/Edging
All sessions are held in a safe, sain & with consent environment & attitude with 16 years of experience in the scene.
BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER, LETS HAVE FUN!!!
Hi angels, my name is Kori and I’m a thick, curvy, busty, wet little sex demon!
I love partying and I LOVE sex. I’m quite curvaceous with a little waist, full tits and an even bigger ass so there’s lots to play with and lots to spank 😉 I’m a huge fan of kissing and have a couple of tongue tricks up my sleeve, wanna find out what they’re like? 🤭
Let me be your fun, sweet, little girlfriend or your secret sexy lover during our time together, I promise you we’re going to have so much fun together!
🥰 GFE: Standard Price
Body kissing, passionate kissing, cuddling, blow job, multiple positions, foot fetish, companionship (dinner, drinks etc)
😈 PSE: Extra $100
(Everything included in GFE)
Deep French kissing, tit fucking, face fucking, spanking, light choking, hair pulling, deep throat, COB
‼️ PLEASE ENQUIRE FOR ANYTHING NOT LISTED ABOVE ‼️
I will NOT do natural services under any circumstances, if you ask and persist you will be blocked 🙈
Please no phone calls, texts only! Let me know your name, what service you’re after and how long you’re wanting to book and we can have some fun 😘
💋🔥 New Sexy Japanese Girl – 🔥💋Top.1 GFE
New Girl: Anne,21y/o, 165cm, 47kg
– a petite, sexy Japanese beauty 🇯🇵 ready to spoil you with love and passion.
I’m soft, sweet and naughty 💦💋 – the perfect lover for a gentleman who craves more than just massage. Always sexy, always glamorous 👗… I’m here to make your body tremble with excitement 💓💫💗.
*****************************************************
Hello there, my dear gentlemen!✨
Are you ready to experience the ultimate pleasure and be blown away by a sultry goddess?😍
Look no further, for you have found the right place.
💋💋Every day have different girls from different countries, offering a wide range of services that are sure to leave you satisfied and craving for more.
Gi.rls not only stunningly beautiful but also highly skilled in the art of seduction.
With charming personality and alluring presence, I guarantee that your time with me will be unforgettable.🩷🩷
🔆Clean, private, and discreet environment with air-conditioning
Address: 423 high street Penrith
Tattooed hottie
Anything goed
Mia
Full service:
$80 -30 minutes (includes GFE, French Kiss, Bj)
$150 per hour (includes GFE, French Kiss, BJ, 2 stitches)
VIP service:
$280 per hour, Nat Bj, deepthroat, cim, toys, multiple shots.
SENSUAL SOPHISTICATED CLASSY PETTIT POLISH PRINCESS
Come closer...
Dive in...
Experience, explore, pleasures and desires. Discover new ways to achieve it. Let's make it special and unique.
Open up imagination, fantasies and explore.
Between sensual sensations, anticipations, discipline, inhibitions, limits, primal urges is the finest joy.
I myself was on quest to experience different ways of achieving sexual satisfaction. I loved❤️it.
Besides usual I offer exploration of some niches. Like GS, prostate massage and sounding.
There are few rules to follow.
RESPECT.
Respect my time. Be specific.
There is no judgement.
Discretion (I offer it and expect it).
If you are shy, no worries I can help with that.
Any extra requirements need to be negotiated prior.
Do not ask about the list. It is to long. Ask away about what you want and how, or that you would like to explore.
I am AVALIABLE BY APPOINTMENT ONLY!!!
Initially TEXT ONLY.
I DON'T PROVIDE FREE SEXTING, FREE SELFIES, etc.
Don't wait to long. Life is short. Let's fill it with joy.
Suly Asia girl
hi handsome man!
I'm Suly, 162cm tall, dark brown hair. Sometimes I change hair color.
My measurements are 92-65-95. 48kg
I'm a petite girl with fair skin, friendly, cheerful, and sociable.
I love parties and creating amazing, memorable moments and unforgettable nights.
Services I offer:
• Touching, cuddling, caressing, and playful intimacy.
• Riding position and cuddling.
• Massage, sex, 69 position.
• Fun on the sofa, fun on the table, and continued conversation.
Cash and PayID only (no pending payments accepted).
I have a wide variety of outfits – elegant, cute, stylish, playful, and sexy – suitable for every occasion.
I welcome short meetings, but longer dates are also welcome – be polite and gentlemanly, and you'll receive excellent service as a boyfriend.
To schedule an appointment:
Please send me a message and I will reply as soon as possible.
Example:
“Hi suly, my name is John. Are you free now? Would you like to schedule an appointment and meet me now?”
Please be a polite and respectful gentleman. If you schedule an appointment, please arrive on time.
… Welcome to my restaurant… there’s always one greedy kid at the buffet
Entrée
Girlfriend Experience (GFE)
Full protected service with covered oral
Think: Delicious steak & 3 veg
60 mins — 400
Main
Naughty Girlfriend Experience (NGFE)
Full protected service including BBBJ
Think: steak & 3 veg, upgraded cut + hot sauce
30 mins — 350
60 mins — 500
Dessert
Pornstar Experience (PSE)
If you’ve seen it in a movie, then it’s probably included in my PSE
30 mins — 400
60 mins — 600
The Party Room
2 hour party & play with full NGFE service and complementary party favours included
2 hrs — 1400
Party Train Xpress
Short on time? You shouldn’t have to miss out. Jump on board the fast tracked express train for a condensed Party Room experience. complementary party favours included
1 hr — 800
3 Hour Super Stay
Why the rush? Stay and play for a while with all party favours included
3 hrs — 1600
The Gobbler
A seven-course ultimate dick-a-station cockworship session that will make your eyes water!
The table is set and your waitress eagerly awaits your arrival, excited to showcase some of the best cocksucking techniques around!
60 mins - 700
Holy Moley
The Ultimate Glory hole experience
30 mins - 500
The Ethical Xscort Experience
You really shouldn’t be here…. Yet here we are
Three hour blended journey combining high-tech VR and human touch, complementary party favours explode your centre. Your secretes are safe, after all isn’t life’s journey but a game? Unforgettable fun as it should be.
3 hour package including Everything and Everywhere
Three hours 3000
Face-Time
Roleplay + fantasy. I’m your mother your sister your best friend‘s wife. No scenarios is taboo…. Let’s play
15 mins — 150
30 mins — 250
📍 Marrickville • Parking at door
💳 Cash or card
📱 — Text only0405 913 193
💦 XXX PSE $300 30 mins 💦 Blue Eyes Baddie Sexy Australian Tall Long Legs 💋Cards accepted
Hello Gents,
We have connected for a reason…
Let’s find out why?
Blessed with a body created purely to be worshipped, I am also deliciously skilled and experienced at all areas of sexual pleasure play.
📞 0431 372 808 : Please TEXT ONLY I am too popular and busy being hot to answer calls.
To make a BOOKING please text message (preferred), email or WhatsApp info:
Name -
Age -
Ethnicity -
Booking time/date -
Duration (30 mins / 2 hours ) -
Description of the service details (GFE, PSE, Kink, Party, Special requests)
Located in the Inner West of Sydney in a private and pet free apartment in a quiet discreet street. There is plenty of free 2 hour street parking, eftpos, fresh linen, toiletries and cold refreshments available.
Please note: I do not offer all services to all clients. Gentlemen who are respectful, discreet and financially generous are welcomed.
Text me now on 0431 372 808 to make a booking.
If you need to be discreet use WhatsApp or email me on [email protected].
I ACCEPT CASH (preferred method) but I also accept VISA, MASTERCARD, EFTPOS, AMERICAN EXPRESS, JCB, APPLE PAY, GOOGLE PAY and SAMSUNG PAY (surcharge for cards)
If you are interested in digital content subscribe to my onlyfans @hayleyjadexxx
I am much hotter in person come and see x
💋 💋 💋
Astrid - young nymph goddess
I am a woman of duality -
Kinky, promiscuous yet affectionate and loving
bold, strong yet sweet and kind
booking information at the bottom,
hair is currently long and dark brown Xx
message me for my only fans link
I have a bold aura, a powerful woman with a sharp intellect and deep perspective on life balanced with a bubbly, grounded, playful, free spirited energy. My grounded nature puts those around me at ease and makes even the most shy or reserved feel at home with me.
Im a nympho at heart, a lover of sex and all the things a part of it . Im eager to please you and to be pleased, to experience the dynamic that unfolds between us, to learn what gets you ticking, to explore fantasies.
Im have long, elegant figure, I stand at 6ft ( not to worry if your shorter then me, I don’t consider gender roles including the idea that the man has to be taller )
I have a petite figure with feminine curves, seductive long legs with thick thighs leading you up to a peachy generous ass, - a arching back, a thin waist pouring out to my sexy wide hips. Im adorned with creative tattoos, wide blue eyes and the face of a model.
I love sex, I feel confident in it so as long as our time together is respectful and follows consent youll have a wonderful time with me.
I offer a wide range of services from casual engagements all the way up to kink services, Im open to exploring your fantasies.
you’ll be daydreaming of our time together for weeks after X
SERICES
SOCIAL booking
nice conversation and connection - $500 PH
Take me on a nice date or just hang out at my place, this includes party bookings
GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE booking
A sensual night of fun. This service includes -
French Kissing
Body kissing
Touching my body
Fingering / clit play
Hand job
Natural oral on me
Protected oral on you
Sex in many positions
Cuddling
Massage
30 mins - 400
45 mins - 550
1HR - 700
2Hr - 1300
3Hr - 1900
DELUXE booking
A deluxe GFE booking with spice. this service includes
French Kissing
Body kissing
Shower together/ shower foreplay
Touching my body
Fingering / clit play
Hand job
Natural oral on me
Natural oral on you, spicy BJ included - tongue play / spitting
Sex in many positions
Light spanking
Cuddling
Massage
45 mins - $650
1Hr - $900
2Hrs - $1700
( outcall + $100ph )
Dinner and desert - $3000
A dinner date at a nice restaurant, followed by a night of sexual fun ( 3.5 hours- 1 hr dinner, 2.5 hrs standard booking )
all night - $4000
From 6pm, including 2.5 hours of booking time, spend all night having fun with me !
All night social booking - $2500
Want a beautiful unique young woman as the plus one to your work party/ event? Your friends wedding?
Buy my underwear, 2 days of wearing - $200
bath water - $100
EXTRAS
Natural oral - $100
Kinky BJ - $200 ( natural, spitting, DT, tongue play)
Ball play - $100 ( licking / handling )
Anal - $400
Body licking - $50
Cum on body - $150
Kink extras - Enquire within
Dom experience - enquire within
I do not offer natural sex, please dont bother asking.
not comfortable with any role play of incest or sexual violence. I also don't do 69
If there’s something specific you’d like to do with me you didn’t see listed above please enquire with me :)
As long your request is within the bounds of consent and safety, Im open to hearing out your fantasy !
BOOKING
Please email, text or watts app me the following information,
-Your name
-Incall or outcall
-The booking type and length your after
-Date and time you’d like to meet
-Location
-Any questions / enquiries you might have
each booking requires a deposit to hold your time.
I do not offer refunds on our booked time together.
clients that organize the booking ahead of time with me have a far greater chance of seeing me .
CONTACT
phone/ wattsapp: 0400684391
I value discretion, safety and privacy; our time together is truly ours only. I expect respect in regard to my privacy and digression in the same way i respect yours.
GENUINE GFE? WITH A GREEN EYED HOT MILF. BEST GFE IN SYDNEY!
PLEASE NOTE I AM LOCATED IN STANMORE AND OFFER INCALLS ONLY.
ALL BOOKINGS WITH NEW CLIENTS REQUIRE A DEPOSIT AT TIME OF BOOKING
My name is Nat (and yes, Natalia is actually my real name).
I’m highly intelligent, endlessly curious, and hilarious as
hell. I’m down to earth, but I can also make a boardroom full of executives
sweat. I genuinely care about people because, if we don’t take care of each
other, who will? So I’m equal parts sweet, cheeky AF, and just a little bit
mischievous.
I’ve been told I have a natural gift for making people feel
comfortable within minutes. No awkwardness. No pretending. Just easy
conversation, genuine connection, and the feeling that we’ve known each other
longer than we actually have.
Think of me as your girlfriend for a little while. I know that
sounds bold, but I truly believe you can fall in love with someone in an
hour.All it takes is the right chemistry, and being completely present.
I have sparkling green eyes that are usually up to something, a
smile that tends to get me into trouble, and just enough mischief to make your
heart beat a little faster. Pair that with a very a quick wit, endless
curiosity, and the occasional adorably clumsy moment, and you may have just
found your forever part-time girlfriend.
Don’t worry though…
I promise I won’t call you tomorrow. 😏
Some women describe what they do as work. For me, it’s something
far more personal. I love genuine connection. I love conversation that flows
effortlessly, shared laughter, lingering eye contact, and chemistry that feels
completely natural.
For me, great intimacy isn’t just physical. It’s intellectual.
Emotional. Playful. It’s laughing until your sides hurt, lingering eye contact
across the table, conversations that wander everywhere and nowhere, and those
moments where the rest of the world quietly disappears.
There’s something beautiful about making another person feel
truly seen, desired, appreciated, and completely at ease.
Maybe that’s why I believe you really can love someone for an
hour. 😂
I’m naturally sensual, affectionate, playful, and deeply
passionate. Whether you’re visiting Sydney for work, celebrating something
special, or simply escaping everyday life, I want our time together to feel
effortless, exciting, and unforgettable.
Fair warning: your flight home might feel a little less exciting
after we’ve met.
Everyone is welcome here. I never discriminate based on race,
background, or culture. Kindness, respect, and good energy are all that matter
to me.
If you’re looking for more than just beautiful company—if you
appreciate intelligence, laughter, effortless conversation, genuine chemistry,
and a woman who truly loves what she does…
Take the long lunch.
Stay for another drink.
Miss one meeting.
Make the booking.
Because the best luxuries in life aren’t things.
They’re moments that stay with you long after they’re over.
xx
THE ULTIMATE CHEEKY GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE
$150 - 15 MINS
$250 - 30 MINS
$330 - 45 MINS
$400 - 1 HOUR
WHATS INCLUDED
* PASSIONATE KISSING AND TOUCHING
*SENSUAL BODYSLIDE
*MULTIPLE SHOTS FOR ALL BOOKINGS OF 30MINS OR MORE
*MULTIPLE POSITIONS (IVE EVEN INVENTED ONE OF MY OWN)
*FUCK ME IN YOUR CAR (ONLY AFTER SUNSET)
*MUTUAL ORAL (COVERED BLOWJOB)
* MASSAGE
THE TALIA AFFECT (ULTIMATE INDULGENCE EXPERIENCE)
$350 - 30MINS
$430 - 45MINS
$500 - 1 HOUR
WHAT'S INCLUDED?
EVERYTHING IN THE ULTIMATE CHEEKY GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE PLUS:
*EVER WANTED TO FUCK TOUR BEST MATES MUM? JUST ONE OF THE ROLE PLAYS ON OFFER.
*DIRTY TALK
*BBBJ
*LIGHT CHOKING
*LIGHT SPANKING
*ULTIMATE SLOW AND SLOPPY BJ
*HOT AND COLD BLOW JOB
*TOY PLAY
*RIMMING ON ME
*ANAL PLAY ON YOU (IF YOU WANT FULL PEGGING ITS $150 EXTRA)
Korean party girl Nat and kinky sev incall/outcall avalible now!
Kathy new arrived in Sydney ,good sev and hot body with passionate sev!
My GFE includes Deep Kissing, Oral both ways, Lovingly Cuddling like it was only us, Erotic Massage, Body-to-Body Rubbing, 69, Multiple Sex positions, Doggy Style (Nicely Curved Bum for padding when you pound me), role playing (student, office, nurse, teacher), ball licking, rimming on me, passionate LIP kissing, licking my vagina, cum on boobs, multiple cumming (1hr + bookings)
We can do PSE/PARTY EXTRAS JUST SMS ME IF YOU WANT THIS.
I got REAL PICTURES HERE I SHOW HALF MY FACE AND THE REST I AM SURE YOU CAN SEE I AM THE sexy age I CLAIM I AM...YOU'LL BE WEAK AT YOUR KNEES WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR TO INVITE YOU TO MY C CUP Cleavage/TREASURE CHEST, FLAUNTING TIGHT DANCER like BODY AND SMACKABLE BUT CUTE ASS.
I dont offer Anal sex please dont ask!
PARTY FUN GIRL.STRIP DANCER
hi gentlemen, SMS OR CALL.
My photos are recently took by myself.not professional.You get what you see.
I love pleasing people and will go the extra mile to suit your needs. I offer the full, deluxe girlfriend experience as well as being open to your kinks and sexual dreams.
My body is curvy and fills out lingerie and form fitting clothes beautifully. I have all natural C cups which are soft and are made for kissing, touching and admiring. My lips are full, pouty and perfect for either kissing you or fulfilling your fantasies in other ways.
Let me indulge your sensual and sexual fantasies. Although new to this, I am a very skilled and creative lover and will spoil you. I am what most men love. curvy, sweet, feminine, sexy and very friendly. I have been told I have an adorable personality. I hold all clients to a high standard of behaviour and respect, as you expect of me also. Now is the opportunity to spend time unrushed, unclothed and heavy breathing with me…
STATS:
Height: 5'5
Dress size: 6-7
Boobs: Yes, handful
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Naturally thick and long, brunette.
All prices listed are non-negotiable.
47 SYDENHAM RD Marrickville --- Best Full Service fr 60 Dollars!
Hi Boys
LOWEST PRICE!
BEST SERVICE!
FULLY REFURBISHED!
PRETTY GIRLS
SHOWER IS AVAILABLE
Address: 47 SYDENHAM RD MARRICKVILLE NSW 2204
( 1 min to Sydenham Train Station, close to City and Airport.)
A lot of free parking spot by the side of the shop. Rear Entry.
Open 7 days
9am-11pm, 7 days
Our Price:
Full Service from $60
$75 / 30 min
$130 / 60 min
02 8068 2672 ☎ TEL :
0415 183 876☎ MOB:
Wechat: Yes-02-80682672
Wives Only - Sydney’s most Elite Gentleman’s Club
**CALL 02 9519 6756 NOW AND OUR HELPFUL RECEPTIONISTS WILL ASSIST YOU**
**MAKE IT INTO OUR DELUXE PREMISES TODAY AND RECEIVE VIP TREATMENT AND GREAT DISCOUNTS **
Wives Only is a High Class Brothel located in Sydney for Gentlemen who seek the finest experience. We are conveniently located in the city fringe suburb of St Peters. Our gentlemen’s club has gone through a complete refurbishment and is the envy of all our competition. We offer impeccable service, and amenities that you can expect to see in the best brothels of the world.
Our Sydney bordello Wives Only has a great selection of young and mature ladies that are elegant, sophisticated and looking great. More importantly they want to give you the pleasures you are dreaming of!
We have a variety of exotic women who work with us with including Australian, European, Middle Eastern, American and African girls. We cater for all shapes and ages like petite & curvy, BBW girls, mature and as young as 18-yr-olds.
Wives Only is conveniently located at 673 King Street St Peters
Discreet Rear entrance via May lane
View our ladies at - wivesonly.com.au
Or Call us on (02) 9519 6756
Opening Hours
11AM - 5AM
7 Days a week
OUR WEBSITE: https://www.wivesonly.com
EMAIL: [email protected]
SNALCHAT: https://www.instagram.com/wiveonly_673
LOCATION: Sydney CBD
PHONE: 02 9519 6756
LADIES AVAILABLE NOW
Voluptuous VIolet BBW...: Natural bj included in every 30mins FREE GFE with every hour booked
I love making men cum, it's my favourite thing. My tits are huge (F cup) and my curves scream grab me... If you're a tits and curve man then you'll love me. Let me blow you while you suck on my tits to the point that I'll probably explode. If you give me some precum I'll be extremely impressed and probably have to lick it off. You'll be busting to fuck me after all of this I can guarantee...
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