Thurgoona Female Escorts

Hi guy

My name is Katie , I'm newbie here in Sydney, I'm 26years old with C cup boobs natural and big booty 🍑 soft skins with curvy

I'm real girl 💯 ❗️

Also, open minded, friendly and pretty sure you will have a great time and come back for me.. waiting to make your day unforgettable

 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Please text me for more info

0424712473

please be gentlemen

 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

**When contact please includes the details;

Name, age, background and preference date and time.

Please feel free to contact, available for in-call.

***Cash or Payid only***

_______________________

NOTE : I DO NOT OFFER

• NO ANAL
• NO NATURAL SEX

• LOVE TO PARTY 🎉 AND CHILL OUT AND GET NAUGHTY.
• I don’t judge. 💋
• For Payment PAY ID OR CASH IS FINE. .
• Private car space if you drive with lift access to my unit.
• I’m Gemma, Promiscuous and a kinky Naughty Deviate I give the best BJs (deep and I love it. I’m Sexy, Passionate and easy going 35yo Australian born/German female. 
• I love my Job, I’m Real I’m not a fake bitch. Im down to earth. I am a people person. I’m a happy sweet gentle girl with a big heart and kind nature.
• Star Sign Cancer♋️ even my star sign sexual
• I’m very promiscuous open and fun. I have an extensive lingerie and toy collection.
• viagra 💊 available.
•  "I'll rock your world in your favourite position, but beware I'm very addictive" 
• I can play the perfect girlfriend, the dominant female, or I can be your slave “(but only if you can tame me)" I’m very kinky and love to wear sexy provocative Lingierie, it’s always private and discreet, I Love to Party and chill out.
• I am educated I love intelligent conversation.
• Tight Pussy I do my kegals to maintain pelvic floor.
• I’m tall busty (Real Boobs)and have curves in all the right places. No Tattoos or Piercings. Full Service (ALL INCLUSIVE) I’m easy going You won’t get disrupted to pay for extras. I include most extras in the service. Incall $400/h, GFE, Pornstar Exp, Couples, Passionate Kissing, Natural BJ.(deep throat), 69, Anal and Massage are some of my services. I’m Open minded to try new things so let’s try your secret fantasy. Im VERY Patient, I’m Not a Clock Watcher and I like (kissing passionate foreplay) etc. I also have the feel for massage(I’m just good at it). I Love to party and have Fun and hang out..
• Private residence or hotel. It’s just me working.
• Private Car Space in building car park with a lift strait to my level for privacy.
• close to the train station for public transport users
• Sauna Spa pool facilities for the longer bookings
• Outcalls and incalls. For outcall Uber required
• You will be satisfied 
• Text My Ph Number if you can’t get through. Gemma, 0466653576. Private residenceIt’s only me answering the phone so I can’t always answer. Text Message is preferred.

Welcome to Maison de L’Amour

At Maison de L’Amour, we believe true luxury lies in how someone makes you feel. In a world that rarely slows down, there is something irresistible about genuine feminine energy, effortless conversation, sexual chemistry, and the company of a captivating woman who knows exactly how to make you smile.

Our companions are chosen not only for their beauty, but for their confidence, charm, intelligence, and ability to create unforgettable moments. Expect lingering eye contact, infectious laughter, playful banter, undeniable chemistry, and just enough temptation to leave you wanting more. Every encounter is designed to be exciting, deeply personal, and impossible to forget.

Whether you’re seeking an elegant dinner date, an indulgent escape from the everyday, or an evening where desire meets sophistication, every experience is tailored to you with warmth, discretion, and impeccable attention to detail.

From the moment you enquire, you’ll discover that the most memorable moments aren’t rushed... they’re created through anticipation, connection, and the thrill of wondering where the night might lead. At Maison de L’Amour, we believe the finest experiences are those that leave your heart racing, your mind wandering, and a smile on your face long after you’ve said goodbye.

100% Money-Back Guarantee

If your companion is not exactly who you see in our photos, you'll receive a full refund.

All images are independently verified by site administration for your peace of mind.

Have you ever met a girl who you feel like you click with instantly?

How nice is that feeling of connection, chemistry and ease mixed with the frisson of excitement and attraction… Let’s create that now.

I am warm, friendly, intelligent and sophisticated. A people person through and through. 

Sexy open minded and adventurous. I can hold a conversation, keep it light or go deep, and I know when no words are necessary.

Underneath all that I am naughty and free spirited making me the perfect companion for whatever mischief we can think up.

For the gentlemen out there.. rarely do I meet a man I don't get along with. I like your cheeky humor, masculine energy, the unmistakable scent of man mixed with delicious cologne... I love seeing your face when I'm on top and the feel of your hands on my irresistible curves. Most of all I love the way you feel and the unmistakable satisfaction of time well spent. Make no mistake I'm a man pleaser top to bottom.

I am also bisexual and adore women so if you're a couple looking for that elusive unicorn to fulfill your fantasies, know that I am experienced and very well adept at reading the energy of our situation so that everyone has an amazing time.

My Sweet Escape GFE is just that. Escape from the reality into a world that feels like a weekend away in the honeymoon phase where you just cant get enough of each other.

My Pleaser Experience is something a little different. Sit back, relax and enjoy being pleasured by a woman who truly gets off on pleasing you.

My Premium PSE for when you've had enough of imagining what it would be like to do all the things in the videos. 

Please note all pictures with short hair are the most recent and I have a few tasteful tattoos that I have edited out for privacy reasons. I am told they suit me very well.

Please note all bookings require a deposit to secure x

SWEET ESCAPE GFE

Passionate Kissing

DFK

Affectionate cuddling & touching 

Passion & Intimacy

Blow Job

BLS

Hand Job

Masturbation 

Mutual oral

COB

69

Your favourite position & multiple others..

Lingerie, heels & outfit requests

Shower for two

MSOG

1 hr 900

1.5 hr 1300

2 hrs 1700

3 hrs 2500

4 hrs 3300

THE PLEASER EXPERIENCE

Erotic teasing

Full body massage

BBBJ

BLS

Gagging

Edging 

Fire & Ice BJ

PLUS:

DFK

Holding / Stroking

Multiple Oral and Full Intimacy Positions

Full Service Experience, finishing anyway you want

1 hr 1050

1.5 1500

PREMIUM PSE

BBBJ

Deep throat

Sex Toys

Spanking on me & you

Anal Play on me & you

Dirty Talk

Rimming on me

Double digit penetration

Light Bondage

Body Worship

Blindfold

1 hr 1200

1.5 hr 1800

2 hr 2200

3 hr 3300

 FIND ME ON

IG @serena_the_explorer

www.serenalove.com

Australia Adult Industry Award (AAIA) 2026 Winner

Best Girlfriend Experience

Australia’ Adult Industry Award (AAIA) 3x Winner 2025 -

Best Girlfriend Experience

Best Dinner Date Companion

Best Service provider for Disability Services

* Australian Adult Industry Award (AAIA) Winner 2024 - Best Disability Services Provider *

*Australian Adults Choice Award (AICA) Winner 2024 -

Best Service Provider to Disability Needs 

Greetings Gentleman thank you for viewing my page. My Name is Grace and I Am Very excited you have found Me.

Are You Ready To Kick Back And Have Some Indulgence

I Am Your Perfect Girlfriend Type. A Seductive Blonde Bombshell; Passionate with a British Accent. 

A Typical Scorpio, Mysterious, Sexy, always up for new adventures & Extremely Fun To Be Around.

I Have Long Blonde Hair and Curves in all the Right Tight Places; with enhanced DD Breasts and big enchanting hazel eyes you'll get lost in

I offer a escape From Your Daily Routine. 

If you Are Looking for The perfect companion for a Business or Dinner date followed by Dessert or a rendevous Afternoon of Indulgence to escape the grind of every day life You Have Chosen Your Perfect English Bundle Of Sex Appeal

With My Passion To Please You Will Want To Return For More. 

Rates Explained 

GFE- Passionate Kissing,cuddling, sexy Lingerie, multiple positions, sexy shower for 2 

Please specify what PSE extras you are seeking upon booking so that I am

Able to customise the ultimate experience just for you 

Please text me. No calls answered. Please mention desired time of booking and duration 

Please refrain from late night calls and messages without more than two words.

“Are You Free Now” Texts Will Be Ignored and I will reply to messages with equal respect 

Thank you 

I would appreciate that you include a short description of yourself. Name, age and background.

All Bookings require a Small Non Negotiable Deposit via Bank Transfer or Beemit

When Booking time with me you are treating yourself to a beautiful intelligent and sophisticated woman who will want you coming back for more. 

Discretion is of the upmost importance. What happens between us is strictly confidential.

I welcome all clients including any kind of disability

I Look Forward To Meeting You

Grace x

https://onlyfans.com/lizloren4u

Kindly ensure that our meeting is truly remarkable, as I'm not available to just anyone who messages me.

Please introduce yourself.

Name

Age

background

preferably time to meet

Allow me to introduce myself, a truly remarkable and alluring woman. With her undeniable charm and breathtaking allure, she leaves a lasting impression wherever she goes. Her presence exudes confidence and sophistication, making her simply irresistible.

The epitome of class and allure. A seasoned traveler, she has a penchant for life's finer things. A connoisseur of luxury, she indulges in the best her life has to offer. available for discerning gentlemen who appreciate engaging conversations about business, lavish dinners, and the pursuit of pleasure.

I look forward to seeing you soon.

Xoxo

Eliz💋

Greetings, gentlemen of sydney🤗

 Hi there, I’m Jenny. 21, sweet, playful, and completely uninhibited. ✨

I am an independent escort. I don't know anyone else, and Is probably not even truly independent. Thanks. Xo

I am currently enjoying my gap year before diving into university life, and I’ve promised myself to make this year absolutely unforgettable. I’m on a mission to explore my wildest desires and experience some crazy, passionate adventures—and I want YOU to be a part of it. 😉

I love the thrill of connection. Whether you are looking for an intoxicating, sweet Girlfriend Experience (GFE) where we get lost in each other's eyes, or a wild, breathless encounter behind closed doors, I am ready to satisfy your deepest cravings. 

I’m highly attentive, passionate, and love to please. Let’s escape reality together tonight and create some delicious memories. 

Are you ready to join my adventure? Text me now... 💋

Naughty GFE (Everything includes but oral sex with condom)🔥

0ne hour💲 800

PSE (Everything included )

1 hour - 💲1000

Each additional hour 💲1000

Social Date 🍸

$300 per hour (social for drinks , lunch or dinner ）

💲500 per hour （hug ，passionate kiss，Semi-nude or fully nude ）

Longer Escapes 💋

Dinner Date (2 hours dinner + 2 hours play) - $3000

Overnight - $6000

Five days everything

💲30k 

Also available for longer bookings and fly me to you bookings on request

How To Book 📱

For a fast response, please text 0432131668with:

• Your name
• Age
• Ethnicity
• Date & time preference
• Incall or outcall. Please provide suburb and/or hotel name if outcall.
• How long you would like to spend together 🥰
• Type of booking (i.e. GFE/Naughty GFE, dinner date, overnight, etc)

Notes

• Advance booking is recommended, but last-minute arrangements are sometimes possible.

 • Out-of-home services will incur an additional charge for round-trip Uber/taxi fares.

 • Please contact me via SMS or WhatsApp.

 • Insincere messages will receive insincere replies (or possibly).

Outcall requires a $100 deposit.

(frist time meets to hotel only ,after that happy to visit you at you place. More safe hhahaha)

Thank you .❤️

 😜😚😚

Looking forward to meeting you, gentleman.

💗💗

REAL PICTURES. I DONT USE Ai or PHOTOSHOP

High standards. Feminine energy. Irresistible chemistry. I believe attraction begins with confidence, is fueled by intelligence, and deserves a touch of luxury.

Open minded ready to have a good time call or text for prices high end clients you don’t find a woman like me here everyday

for more pics text or FaceTime

We location at heart of Sydney CBD Town Hall

Level 2, 69 Liverpool St Sydney NSW 2000

*2 min walk from Town Hall Station

*3 min walk from Gadigal Station

*8 min walk from Central Station

* If you drive, you can park on the street or Event Cinema Car park on 521 Kent St. And then walk 50 meters to our shop.

Business Hour:

Open 7 days (open all public Holiday)

Sunday to Thursday :10am to 3m

Friday & Saturday : 10am to 4am

(Try to come early before 8pm only if you can plan your time, more early more young and pretty girls)

Call: 0451 079 669

 For more details, please visit our website: www.townhall69.com

Welcome to Town Hall 69 Full service Club and Erotic Nude Massage Studio !    

Our approved venue has been renovated with your comfort and pleasure in mind. The hottest biggest and most luxurious Sydney Brothel in the heart of Sydney CBD, 2 minute walk from Town Hall station, 3 min walk from Gadigal Station

We provide Full Services, erotic massage, Double Services, Lesbian Double, Couple Services, Role Play, Dress Up, Group party, Escort Services with around 10 girls everyday.

Town Hall 69 brothel has been decorated with the aim of giving Sydney brothel customers the best possible sexual experience they can ever receive. With this mission in mind we have done full renovation at the premises and went to extreme lengths to decorate the place in the best possible way.

Our studio is a most modern luxurious place with a relaxing peaceful atmosphere, like a 5-Star hotel. Whole day Air Conditioned. The high class luxurious beds, sofas, furniture are individually designed to meet your desire. Each room is modern and spacious, and contains shower facility. Couple rooms also available. All clients will enjoy a dreamy private room with sensual lighting and very romantic classical music will accompany with you during service.

Experience the ultimate pleasure with our international girls Sydney!

All our girls are immaculately groomed and specialists in the art of making a man feeling relaxed and totally at ease. Town Hall 69 brothel maintains a high standard choosing only the ladies that will enhance your experience.

Everyday we have around 10 girls everyday, different 18-22yo cute, beautiful high class and professional Uni Girls, Office Ladies, models, international girls , All our girls are strictly selected and trained, and new faces join our team all the time. They dress up as nurses, Uni-students, air hostess, maid, office lady wearing sexy uniforms with soft smiles on our faces to provide exciting sex experience to you.

Enjoy the company of our seductive ladies. Let them cater to your every fantasy! Please remember The Town Hall 69 Club is one of Sydney's finest brothel and escort Sydney. We are constantly hiring a fine quality of new ladies regularly. We do not employ any lady at our Town Hall 69 club, each lady is individually trained in providing you with a memorable experience.

Experience ultimate pleasure at our popular Town Hall 69 Club.

Contact No:

0451 079 669

Business hour:

Open 7 days (never close)

sunday to thursday 10am to 3m

Friday & Saturday 10am to 4am

Our Prices:

(EFTPOS available, 10% surcharge. Also, ATM just in our building.)

Full Services (silver class)

30 mins---------------------$150

45 mins---------------------$190

60 mins---------------------$220

Full Services (Diamond class)

30 mins---------------------$180

45 mins---------------------$250

60 mins---------------------$310

Erotic Nude Massage

(Massage , fully nude ,B2B, Happy ending inclusive) 

30 mins---------------------$105

45 mins---------------------$130

60 mins---------------------$150

90 mins---------------------$240

(We can will arrange 2 girls for you. Each girl does 45 min)

120 mins--------------------$280

(We can will arrange 2 girls for you. Each girl does 60 min)

Double Girls Massage

30 mins---------------------$200

45 mins---------------------$240

60 mins---------------------$280

 Escort(out call )

60 mins---------------------$400

90 mins---------------------$600

120 mins---------------------$750

overnight--------------------$2000

 Additional Services

Your special order Uniforms------ + $30

Special selebritee (sexy stocking)---- + $30

Lesbian Double----- + $100

Role Play------ + $50

Couples-------- + $80

and many more

We location at heart of Sydney CBD Town Hall

Level 2, 69 Liverpool St Sydney NSW 2000

*2 min walk from Town Hall Station

*3 min walk from Gadigal Station

*8 min walk from Central Station

* If you drive, you can park on the street or Event Cinema Car park on 521 Kent St. And then walk 50 meters to our shop.

Business Hour:

Open 7 days (open all public Holiday)

Sunday to Thursday :10am to 3m

Friday & Saturday : 10am to 4am

(Try to come early before 8pm only if you can plan your time, more early more young and pretty girls)

 Call: 0451 079 669

 For more details, please visit our website: www.townhall69.com

Hey, gentlemen

36 E.1.63cm, 46kg, smooth white skin, long hair. I am well-educated, warm, charming, joking, friendly and good at conversation. If you like to date a cute young girl discreetly; If you're looking for an elegant lady to go out for dinner and a glass of wine and whiskey; Maybe you prefer to spend a hot night with a passionate lover. Or when you need someone to listen... Yes, you can have it all. My goal is to please you.

full service

$250 for 30 minutes

$300 for 45 minutes

$350 for 60 minutes

No call only text

outcall $500/1hour + text fee out call deopoist

Hi everyone, I am Anna and I am here for all those guys who enjoy the thrill of being with that quite little girl who secretely really is that office slut.

I am tall, slim and naughty when it matters. With smooth skin and long hair to run your hands through, and of course something lovely for you to play with down there. 

I am staying in the city with plenty of parking and easy access.

❌no private number

So, make my day and satisfy the slut in me. Call or text me, text preferred initially and say hi Anna 0401329188 and ask me anything you like.

Hi guys, i am the most sexy and hot colombian girl, come to see me and get the best experience.

Hey, guys, I'm.Maycia

I'm from Thailand.I'm 23 years old.Petite and sexy body, developing natural 36D Big breasts.Naughty and laughing,Will bring a lot of fun to your party.

I have super great service and am your impeccable sex partner, what are you waiting for? Get ready for your party, book me, You will have a memorable night.

 🍆 What do I offer? (full service)

  My price

 Incall;

$200 - 30 mins

$350- 1hor

$700- 2hor

Out call;

$500 - 1hor

$1000 - 2hor

$1500 - 3hor

For door-to-door service reservations, please pay the travel fee first. Thank you for your cooperation

 normal service

 🚫 I don't do natural sex or anal sex

 🚫 I don't bargain.

 🚫 I don't answer the phone (sorry.)

 If you want to know more. Feel free to message me and take me out.

☎️SMS tell me your age and nationality:💋:💋0493681065

 Example: "My name is James and I'm a 35 year old Australian, can I book with you for 3 hours at 9pm tonight? Cheers"

PLEASE ONLY TEXT OR EMAIL

Please enquire with a polite introduction including :

Name

Date and time of booking

Your city (This is very important )

Length of time you would like to spend to together

Service/Package you desire

Incall or Outcall

Reference (Name of another service provider you have seen)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The perfect mix of Propriety and Playfulness

From youth I have always followed my desires and lead with eager curiosity towards connection, experiences and pleasures. 

Craving freedom, lust and a certain lifestyle which ebbs and flows as I ~ Here we meet… 

As a true exhibitionist I am no stranger to catching wandering eyes or sinful whispers as I enter a space. I am striking not only in my height (just shy of 6ft) and model-like figure wrapped in silky, milky skin with a face to match. In my sense of style I express my femininity, sexy and refined with an edge, always complimenting any occasion. 

I relentlessly enjoy indulging in culinary, arts and cultural experiences. I love visiting new places and learning about people, being your own boss for me, means lots of travel! I offer Fly Me To You (FMTY) packages all over Australia and the World and am very fortunate to have this luxury. 

More intimately, exploring each other in the delectable hours of daylight encounters however brief always memorable; To lustful, long nights where time stands still and possibilities seems endless, there is forever a sweet taste that lingers. I am naturally more on the dominant side however swoon over someone else taking the lead from time to time!

Rates :

My rates are non-negotiable. I pride myself in providing a quality experience for my counterpart/s and my rates are set accordingly.

Packages :

Sensual Gfe 650/hr (Standard)

Passionate Gfe : 800/hr (Deluxe/Fetish)

Pse : 900/hr (VIP)

Dinner Dates : 1900 (4hrs Total)

Couples : 1100/hr Gfe

Pre-bookings are always preferred as I love it when someone knows exactly what they want. Therefore those who pre-book will always get priority once secured by a 25% non-refundable deposit*

*deposits are refundable or transferrable if cancellation occurs on my end.

MILF attractive English red head loves to squirt

Incalls are based NEAR Tuggerah

10 mins off Tuggerah exit freeway or 10 mins off sparks road freeway exit

My English heritage is apparent in my green eyes, long red hair that is completely natural and luxurious to run your fingers though, and delicate pale skin. My hourglass figure is enhanced only by my love of yoga, exercise and a balanced lifestyle. 

I thrive on one on one interactions and establishing genuine intimate connection. Our mutual pleasure is of the utmost importance to me. I love to share these special moments when time seems to stand still, the worries and expectations of the outside world seem far away and dreams can become reality.

READY TO INDULGE? 💋💋 

If you’d like to spend time with me, please SMS your booking details:

• Your name

Preferred date• 

Desired time & duration• 

Incall  (include suburb)) or  (private location in • 

• Service you’re craving

The more details you share, the quicker I can say yes…

I can’t wait to hear from you 💫

Hello handsome! Glad to see you made it this far, why don’t you come a little further and discover the woman you're seeking, come meet me… 

I'm Gabriela, I’m not your girl next door because I’m so much more!

I’m waiting to share an incredible experience with you, wherever it might be, because no matter where we are I’m always prepared. Every need you could possibly have is anticipated and cared for. Whatever tickles your fancy I’m sure I can cater to your needs, embody your desires, and realise your fantasies. I can be your loving girlfriend welcoming you home at the end of the day, or the next-level whore you’ve only dared to dream about… until now. 

I’m a woman of many talents, here to fulfil your dreams and fantasies, whether they come wrapped in lace, leather, or latex. Dress me up and dress me down - I love costumes and I have something for every occasion. 

Settle in and get comfortable, I’m here to listen; tell me what you really want from this experience. I’m here to give it to you.

If you've made it this far, bonus points! A message with the details from the booking template above is greatly appreciated and will ensure a smooth process for us both 😊😘

Gabbi x

0410 773 970

My dripping wet tight little pussy and perfectly round ass will have you losing it

My warm wet perfect mouth happily sucks for hours

- Deepthroating

- Squirting

- Doggystyle

- Passionate kissing

- Threesums

- Facesitting

- Sex

- Full Body Nude Massage with Happy Ending

- Dirty Talk

- Costumes and Role play

- 69

- Cock Worship

How to Book -

Name and Age:

Date and Time:

Incall or Outcall:

Location:

Any specifics/extra services/fetish/fantasies/kinks you like

0435030417

[email protected]

WhatsApp,Text, Email, NO CALLS

*25% Deposit

(Bank Transfer)

*RULES*

– NO natural sex, NO anal, NO recording/photos

– NO negotiating rates/deposit 

– Deposits are non refundable

Available Central Coast, Hunter Valley, Newcastle and Sydney and surrounds.

100% REAL photos! This is NOT a fake profile.

Hi guys! My name is Ashley and I'm Colombian. Welcome to my world of pure pleasure.

Your authentic Latina girlfriend experience! I love to please you. I enjoy making you have a good time together. I love being your sensual companion. Making you feel good and pleased is important to me.

I'm an open, playful, and friendly person. I'm genuinely interested in getting to know you. My goal is for you to feel relaxed and cared for. I love to play; it's an irresistible desire to please you.

You'll appreciate my beautiful figure, my long, silky hair, and my captivating gaze.

Send me a message so I can share my services with you.

I'm NAO, your book-loving university 19yr student studying ART by day, crafting sweetness by twilight!

My pictures are verified, I promise you will get the best JAP girlfriend experience.

Nestled in the heart of city, my place is a secret garden where stress melts like sugar cubes in tea. As your personal sunshine keeper.

Pinky promise!

Your most sugary dreamscape begins with my 'Welcome Home'!!

I'm the kind of guy who will listen to you talk about your wild goals and help you make them come true.

I am HAWK TUAH in bed,if you see her,I looked very similar to her. blond and funny.

You can make me into anything you desire.I'm a wild girl/doll that likes to use BDSM to get high and play games.

But I'm also a very private person who loves to connect passionately and profoundly and to be showered with love.

I'm a very fit girl, and I love exercising. As you can see from my photos, I have more videos I can send to you privately.We can try all the different positions.I am very flexible.With all the energy I have, I love to ride on top.

You won't be disappointed because all of my photos are real. I promise!

My complexion is the colour of caramel, and my hair is styled.

My sultry deep gaze, perfectly sculpted form, and delicious smile will have you melting in an instant. I'm fresh, colourful, and unique.

When I welcome you with a lovely grin and a warm, sensual touch, you'll soon understand that I have a wild side and that I actually enjoy being near to people.

I can easily go from a sophisticated woman to an enthusiastic lover when necessary.

I'm a social butterfly who enjoys seeing both locals and those I meet elsewhere. To my personas, hamble personalities.

You won't be disappointed because all of my photos are real. I promise!