Semaphore Escorts & Adult Services

Addictive Doll-Sized Indulgence

I'm Jasmin Austin❣️ Let me tell you a little bit about me as well as the services I provide:

🏹 I am an upscale companion who loves what I do;

🏹 I am sweet and nice with just a little spice;

🏹 I have a slim toned body with oh! so soft skin;

🏹 Luscious brown hair with no extensions for some gentle hair pulling;

🏹 Perfect booty awaiting some soft kisses and kinky slaps!

🏹 Playful, elegant and intelligent. A down to earth babe with petite body that is very flexible ;)

Ph: 0403 668 153

Jasmine xx 🌹

INCALL or OUTCALL RATES

🔥30 mins: $400 GF

🔥1 Hour: $450 Naughty Girlfriend

🔥2 Hour Promo: $900 Naughty Girlfriend

🔥3 Hour: $1200 Dinner Package

🔥VIP Indulgence: $3500 Ultimate Overnight

🔥VIP Greek Service: $1000 /hr

🔥VIP Duo/Couples/MFF: $900/hr

🙊 Other Services:

• PSE - $800/hr incall, $900/hr outcall
• MFM - $850/hr
• Fetish / Kink - from $900/hr

Please get in contact for special requests e.g. roleplay, costumes, fantasies, BDSM sessions.

NB: With all due respect, I don't see Indian clients, sorry.

0403 668 153 📲 TEXT / SMS ONLY

See my list of things I enjoy in private to get to know me better!

_______________________________

My clients say I set them at ease when we meet with my cute witty bubbly personality. My energy can always be felt in our appointment and it is contagious. So what are you waiting for babe? Let’s connect and spend some time together!

Com Amor,

Jasmine Austin ❤️‍🔥

Name: ALLEY

Breast Size: 36DD

Age: 24

Nationality: THAI

Height: 161cm

Weight: 48 Kg

Derss Size : 7

I OFFER Incall and Outcall full service

FULL SERVICES including SEX:

 Shower together

Passionate deep kissing

Cuddling and hugging, touching

Erotic body massage with body sliding

Hand job and blow job, 69

Good sex multi positions

My full service rates are

$180 - 30 mins

$230 - 45 mins

$280 - 60 mins.

Outcall $400 - 60 mins up depends on location

extra service $50 - $100 Welcome to enquiry

Name: Samatha

Age: 21 

Breast Size: 38DD

Height: 163 cm 

Weight: 48 kg 

Nationality: Thailand

hope you like my photo, I know you will love me!.

I am soft, sweet, friendly Thailand Girl, but I am also naughty & I very want strong man to enjoy, to satisfy my hunger & my fire!. I have Very Full Nat u real Perky Breasts with delicious nipples.

I am looking forward to you call me, I enjoy we explore together, Let me be Your Girl, I want you my Baby for us to Delicious Heaven Adventure XXX.

My service includes:

- Girlfriend experience

- Body slide rub,

- Cuddling,

- Hand relief,

- Great sex,

One dragon

$120 extra (on top of 

Include:

Sex (multiple times, different positions)

All you need to do is to lie down on the bed and enjoy my service like a king ...sexually satisfied the way your partner is not willing to satisfy you.

You owe it to yourself to be properly served by my own and unique One Dragon Service.

Incall Price 

$150-30 min 

$ 250 -60 min 

Body Rub & Happy E n d ing .

30mins 120aud

60mins 200aud

outcall 

$450 / 1hour

Name: Annie

Age: 21

Height: 164 cm

Weight: 49 kg

hope you like my photo, I know you will love me!.

I am soft, sweet, friendly Thailand Girl, but I am also naughty & I very want strong man to enjoy, to satisfy my hunger & my fire!. I have Very Full Nat u real Perky Breasts with delicious nipples, My Sweet Pussy is Tight and I get very Wet Baby.....

I am looking forward to you call me, I enjoy we explore together, Let me be Your Girl, I want you my Baby for us to Delicious Heaven Adventure XXX.

My service includes:

- Girlfriend experience

- Body slide massage,

- Cuddling,

- Hand job,

- Great sex,

- kissing,

- oral on me

- 69

One dragon

$120 extra (on top of

Include:

Sex (multiple times, different positions)

Natural b j

C u m in Mouth

Rimming

Deep Throat Dragon

Around the world (wet your whole body with water in my mouth)

Diamond fascination (licking all over your body)

All you need to do is to lie down on the bed and enjoy my service like a king ...sexually satisfied the way your partner is not willing to satisfy you.

You owe it to yourself to be properly served by my own and unique One Dragon Service.

Incall Price

$180-30 min

$280-60 min

Massage & Happy E n d ing .

30mins 120aud

60mins 200aud

outcall

$450 / 1hour

From Sydney, 

Hi gentlemen, this is Hanna , You will love my beautiful sexy face and 🔥body

only 20 years old，160cm tall, natural DD cup

My body is very flexible, soft, young 💦💦and beautiful.

you will feel welcome and relaxed by a young student.

I am full of pure pleasure with a nice round 🍑ass for you!

Genuine booking only,

Time waster will be block.

Text message me the time you want to come

Extras $50-$100: BBBJ, lick pussy, cim.

SERVICES AVAILABLE:

GFE

Oral

Passional kissing

69

bbbj

COB

CIM

Spanish

Mutual masturbation

Variety of positions

DATY - ORAL ONE ME

Sensual and hot body massage

Variety of positions

Striptease

Shower for two

and a lot more

My prices for incall

30 minutes $180

60 minutes $280

Some extra available

Outcall 450up$ one hour plus uber

I am a seductive, sexy Australian who has been blessed with naturally tanned skin. I am confident and curvaceous sex goddess with a hot curvy size 14 figure and DD natural breasts.

Mutual discretion ensures our privacy and so I have kept my face a mysterious blur on my profile. However, you won't be disappointed as I take pride in my appearance and avoid looking over done.  I prefer a more relaxed natural look, with minimal makeup - just enough to highlight my features. I embrace my femininity and choose to wear my brunette hair long. I’m described as having alluring eyes with naturally pretty face, a bright genuine smile. 

Importantly, I ensure my health and hygiene are equally maintained as my appearance. You will always find me manicured and pedicure with exceptional grooming … yes that does mean I’m shaven for your pleasure. 

 IRL,  I am professionally employed in the corporate world, tertiary educated, well travelled and always open to new experiences. Importantly, I love to laugh- all of which makes me a suitable companion in all settings, not just behind closed doors.

 Please sit back, relax and I look forward to meeting you soon.

love to see the look of satisfaction on a man’s face.Let me know your fantasies or what you’re looking for. I

Jenn

Xx

• Affectionate Kissing

• Blow Job

• COB

• Companion

• Costumes

• Cougar

• Cuddling and Affection

• Deep Throat

• Dinner Date

• Dirty Talk

• Foot Fetish

• Kinky GFE

• Kissing

• Lingerie Requests

• Massage

• MFF (I have a favourite…soon to be your favourite)

• MMF

• Multiple Positions

• Mutual Masturbation

• Oral on Me

• Overnight Stays

• Role Play

• Sex Toys

• Shower Together

• Social Outings

• Strip Tease

• Tie and Tease

• Travel Companion

• Dominatrix

• Anal (at my discretion)

Cash Payments or via the Beem app is preferred.

Please ask me about my rates and packages available, to ensure each gentleman's experience is unique and we both enjoy our time

My luxury GFE - deep French kissing, multiple orgasms, shower for two, full body relaxation with body and sensual oils, sex multiple positions, 69, with eye contact, strip tease, dress up in my sexiest lingerie.

My Elite Pornstar Experience- all of the above mentioned in GFE but also includes squirting, deep throat, dirty talk, option of COB COA CIM ...it's your pick unless you're like me and can go multiple times, then why not try all?

The True VIP Experience (Dominatrix) includes all of my services with squirting, toys, lingerie, deep French kissing, deep throat- and as the name suggests- I will be your Dom.

Submit to my commands and experience the pleasures that come from being dominated by Jenn. I will take control over you physically, sexually and emotionally. Let me know your kinks and we'll go from there.

Extras at my discretion

Session Cost Description

Incalls

1 Hour

 - $800 Girl Friend Experience

 - $900 Pornstar Experience 

 - $1000 True VIP Experience/ Dominatrix

2 Hours

 - $1500 Girl Friend Experience

 - $1700 Pornstar Experience 

 - $1900 True VIP experience/ Dominatrix

Outcalls

1 Hour

 - $900 Girl Friend Experience

 - $1000 Pornstar Experience 

 - $1100 True VIP Experience/ Dominatrix

2 Hours

 - $1700 Girl Friend Experience

 - $1900 Pornstar Experience  

 - $2000 True VIP experience/ Dominatrix

Overnight bookings start at $3900. Message for more details and additional pricing. I want to make you feel good and ensure a pleasure filled night together. 

HORNY ASIA MILF WREAK HAVOC UPON YOUR COCK! SUCK UR SOUL AND SEND YOU HOME WITH EMPTY BALLS AND A SORE BACK!

Brace yourselves for some Hardcore Cum Extraction. Your Cock will be milked and every cum drop extracted out. make you wanna say Ooh!

Take it in the Pussy. Take it in the Butt! - I Won't Stop! UNTIL YOU NUTT!!

Hello There!

I'm YuYu here to Milk ur Cock and TAKE Your CREAM!!

Text me on 0432823385, to make an appointment

I am sure you are here because you are Horny and ready to stick your meat in some warm pussy. I am your Nympho with a very high sex drive. I absolutely love sex!

My favorite thing to do is choke on your cock and blow your mind with my ferocious sucking skills you will feel as if your soul is being sucked out of your body through your cock and your balls will retract because of this bizarre sensation of pain and pleasure!

I'f you still manage to survive the blowjob somehow, I will then ride on you like the cowgirl I am and vigorously drive you insane as your manhood disappears inside my pussy and your balls clap against my butt! Another dose of pain and Pleasure until you explode I'll have you pick me up and fuck me stand and carry so hard in the air that my legs twitch and vibrate and you feel my pussy pulsating o your cock.

DESTROY me!! and put your cock deep inside every hole of mine; make my whole body covered in sweat and the sweet sweet juice of yours then at last cum with everything you have inside of me and fill my entire body. I want a nice big load and watch it as it drips out... mm so hot!!

BEWARE!! I might want to continue to suck you dry after if I am still thirsty. My Sex dive is insane!! I will extract every last drop of cum you possibly have in your balls!

You'll be leaving my place, light as a feather, balls completely emptied and your lower back aching because your man juice has now been squeezed out of you!

I LOVE TO MAKE MY MAN MOAN WITH PAIN and PLEASURE!

WHEN I RIDE YOU ON TOP, I'LL FUCK YOU LIKE CRAZY AND TAKE EVERY INCH YOU HAVE INSIDE ME!!

Contact me for Rates and services.

Text 0432823385 to make Luv now;)

Can't wait to suck you up! Your cum is mine!!

Waiting for your cream!;)

SWA 5285XEB

Hello gentlemen ♡

This is Reina Kato, your sweet little Tokyo escape waiting to spoil you senseless.

I’m 23, 163cm of pure Japanese softness, only 48kg, so you can pick me up, pin me down, or carry me anywhere you like. My breasts are completely natural D+ cups, heavy, milky-white, and insanely sensitive, nipples turn rock hard the second you look at them. Tiny waist you can wrap one hand around, long silky black hair perfect for pulling, and that famous snow-white Japanese skin that marks pink wherever you kiss or bite.

I’m the real girlfriend you’ve always dreamed of:

• Slow, deep, wet French kissing until we’re both dizzy and my lipstick is smeared all over you
• Shower together, I’ll wash every inch of you on my knees, looking up with my big doe eyes while the water runs down my curves
• Bare, passionate blowjobs with lots of tongue, eye contact, and swallowing with the happiest little “arigatou ♡”
• Riding you while my D+ cups bounce right in your face, or letting you fold my tiny body in half and go as deep as you want while I moan “motto… harder… onegai…” in the cutest voice
• Multiple rounds because I never get enough, I only get wetter and tighter
• Cuddling after, playing with your hair, kissing your neck, whispering “I love being yours” until you’re ready again

No rush, no clock-watching, pure girlfriend experience from the moment I walk in until the second you leave completely drained and smiling.

Rates (best Japanese quality in town)

$350 – 30 mins taste

$500 – 60 mins full addiction (you’ll book me again before you even leave)

Outcall to your locations as well, only $600 + an extra uber fee

Your little 163cm Tokyo princess is already wet just thinking about you all the time♡

Text me now, I don’t want to sleep alone…

Reina Kato xoxo

Contact: 0481703859

Web: https://www.x18house.com

FREE PARKING AT THE REAR ENTRANCE

Meet Maggie – Experience, Skill, and Genuine Care

We are delighted to introduce Maggie, an experienced massage lady who has recently relocated to Adelaide to begin an exciting new chapter in her professional career. With many years of hands-on experience in the adult massage industry, Maggie has built a strong reputation for delivering high-quality treatments that help clients relax, recover, and feel their very best.

Massage is more than just a profession for Maggie—it is her passion. Throughout her career, she has dedicated herself to understanding the needs of every individual client and refining her techniques to provide exceptional results. Whether you are experiencing stress from work, recovering after exercise, or simply looking to unwind from the stresses of everyday life, Maggie is committed to creating a massage experience that leaves you feeling refreshed, revitalised, and completely relaxed.

Meet Gina -- An Indian Massage Lady

Gina is a young massage lady and originally from India, bringing with her not only professional skill but also the warmth, kindness, and genuine care that Indian hospitality is known for. From the moment you meet her, you will notice her friendly smile and calm presence. She believes that massage is not just a treatment, but a meaningful way to help people relax, recharge, and feel balanced again.

Gina is professionally trained and offers a range of massage services designed to meet different needs. Whether you are looking for a gentle relaxation massage after a long week at work or a more focused deep tissue massage to release built-up tension, Gina is ready to tailor the session to suit your body and comfort level.

Introducing Mia -- A Natural Gift When It Comes to Massage

Mia has been working with us since 2020, and throughout the years she has built an outstanding reputation among our clients. Her professionalism, dedication, and genuine passion for helping people relax and unwind have earned her a tremendous amount of positive feedback and loyal returning customers.

What makes Mia truly special is her commitment to providing the highest quality massage experience to every single client. Whether you are visiting for the very first time or you have been seeing her regularly for years, Mia treats everyone with the same level of care, attention, and respect. She understands that every client is unique, and she takes the time to tailor each session to suit individual needs and preferences.

Booking is essential!

Walk-in is also welcome!

Body Sliding Massage

Keep the body contact close and sensitive, using rubs and brushes for sensation and delight, a whole body brush is a wonderful experience.

For more details from https://www.x18house.com

Please confirm your booking via SMS. Cheers.

Unwind, indulge, and let your senses come alive at Sensations Massage.

From the moment you arrive, our friendly receptionist will ensure a smooth, discreet welcome. Inside, our stunning, sensual masseuses are ready to treat you to a warm, relaxing full body massage designed to ease tension, melt away stress, and awaken your senses.

Whether you’re planning ahead or feeling spontaneous, we’ve got you covered.

✨ Walk-ins welcome – or book your moment of escape

📍 65 Kensington Road, Norwood

🕙 Monday to Saturday, 10am – Midnight

Take a break from the ordinary… and step into pure relaxation.

www.sensationsmassage.com.au

How's it going?

I hope your balls are full cause the will definitely be emptied hard once I am done with you.

My name is Becky,

I'm here to please you with a genuine girl friend experience ,I will wow you from the moment you walk through my door .

Whether it's a lunchtime meeting, a mid-afternoon rendezvous or an early evening play date, our mutual enjoyment of each other's company and intimacy is my priority.

So, let's connect and enjoy each other.

Meet me at my private place with confidence and total discretion.

I know times are pretty shit and whether you're stressed at work (or home), I invite you to come over for a stress release!

I'm the good girl gone bad and although I look extremely innocent, I can be the naughtiest of naughty girls. I will make you weak at the knees and your jaw will drop with all the sexual pleasure you have with me that you never knew could exist! I'm a confident and sophisticated girl with unbridled female sensuality. I have that girl next door cheeky and mischievous attitude that is sure to put you immediately at ease and looks that will have you aroused from the moment we meet.

I accommodate to levels of experience whether you've done this before, have a fantasy, need a companion or it’s your first time ... Everything I do is always unrushed and done effortlessly, as I want you just as much as you want me from the moment we meet.

I'm extremely horny and will fuck passionately and ride you to the max making you cum again n again almost to the point, you won't be able to feel your feet.Brace yourselves!! for the Horniest Kissing Experience - Tongue battle whilst you pound me from underneath as I'm on top of you squatting and biting your lips! - riding you like no tomorrow! feeling your loosely hanging balls clapping against my asscheeks! I said it before and I'll say it again! I love sex, getting licked and pounded, and having awesome orgasms.

Today, I wanna get R a w Fucked! Do you have what it takes to bend me over and fuck me from behind until I squirt all over the place? Or Are you gonna Cum Prematurely?

Only Time will tell..

How about we take it nice and slow and I sit on your face rubbing my vagina lips on your lips as you lick and my clit rings your nose? A bit of 69 Perhaps; There is so much that could happen in the heat of the moment.

Enough talk. Let's not waste any more time.

Get in touch on my number below and I'll walk you through my rates and services.

Becky

Fuck you soon...

My name, Anna

 a little warmth from winter. I'm from South Korea and have been working as a masseuse for eight years. I have excellent working experience. Come close to me and I'll warm you up. Let's have a cream party massage. Sweet cream will accompany my breasts to roam on your back. Let's go on a dream-like roaming journey. I'll slowly rub every part of your body.

 best nuru massage and good body slide.try pussy on ur back and whole body slide.I am very friendly. Will make u very happy

I have silky skin, Perfect body. attractive, sexy and well educated High Class companion. My slim, stunning body with wonderful firm ass, beautiful legs and natural perfect Boobs 40 DD. my pretty face with sexy body.

I am a hot Asian girl and would like to have fun with you right now.

I am super experienced in all sex positions and will try my best to make you high. I am good at using my body, mouth and hand to make you finish. I promise you will be high as soon as get my sexy nude body.

Let's book now honey don't wait any more.

Incall Rate

Erotic body rub: nude body rub, body slide, happy ending.

Sensual/Erotic/Oil Massage

30min $50

45min $70

60min $80

B2B. ➕NURU MASSAGE ➕Cream party massage RATES

30min $150

45min $200

60min $250 

❣️GFE Service can include

❣️Naughty Shower together

❣️Lots of teasing

❣️Affectionate kissing

❣️Play my huge titts

❣️Naughty bbbj

❣️Face sitting

❣️Sweet 69k

⚠️NO MORE PICTURES

⚠️NO BARGAIN

⚠️NO NATURAL SEX

⚠️NO ANAL

⚠️NO COF AND FINGERING

📌📌📌Read Before Contacting Me

NOTE: I don't do natural sex or anal. I don't do negotiate on price. I don't answer calls sorry guys. ⚠️💔Rude, Critical people are not welcome.

💓💓Ill be waiting your message

📲📲📲0426888670 Anna😍

I am Horny Exotic Sex Goddess with a gorgeous body and a smile to die for. I'm the woman you see in your naughty dream

I have a bright and friendly personality and love to create unique experiences with unforgettable moments.

My services are of the highest quality, and I can guarantee you will be satisfied once I get my lips around you. Take a break from your stressful day and treat yourself to a well-deserved night of passion.

I promise you, all the moments we spend together will make you come back for more!

Hi baby 

I am a special girl makes you so irresistible! Everyone thinks I am not Asian because my father is Singapore and my mother is Thai. I grew up in Thai since I was a child. I am truly Asian.

Private and independent hottie to satiate your Lust 

Name: Harper

Age: 23

Nationality: Thai/ Singapore

Size: 7

Breast Size : 36DD 

Height: 164 cm 

NOW

My moist pussy is also craving after you, so don't wait.

I'm your slut slave, so if you tell me to, I'll put on lingerie, stockings, and heels.

In exchange for me fulfilling your wishes, you will also fulfil mine.

I'll get down on my knees after a steamy shower with you and look up at you with my doe eyes as I suck your cock between my big lips and down my throat.

You grab two handfuls of hair from the back of my head and vigorously pump your cock as you feel my lips around you.

Should you not already We will then assume the doggy position, and you will fuck my pussy after I choke on some cum.

I want to feel your firm cock pounding hard inside of me and stirring my juices while you ride me hard in any position you desire.

30mins $130

45mins $200

60mins $230 

2 Hours $460 - Sexually Arousing Hot GFE Experience. I Will Please You Like No Other

0411145159

New pictures Guaranteed 

Have a read before you book me. Yes I am new to Southport, although I was here a few weeks I am not that old and tired moody Asian woman posing with fake pics from the net.

Yes I won't send you a face shot, why? Exposing me to every potential client is asking for trouble. Make sense?

MY Name is Sara –0402119458

Firstly take a look at my hot body in my newly taken REAL & Genuine verified photos I took myself, hope you like them? Let me know sexy :) 

I am 22 year old Asian student with a model body, first timer in Brisbane Southside and I want to prove my worth here...try me today cause I am going to rub my real D cups and smooth silky skin all over your body then sucking you off till your pleasure centers are so erect ,thrusting till you pass out on my nice comfy mattress.

Come see me in my sensual and private apartment where I’ll make sure you feel at home with my ultimate GFE including ball sucking, passionate kissing, teasing, extreme sucking till your legs shake and massaging with the rest of the time humping till you just explode. No joke I am here to please!!!!

Like I said I’m 22 years with smooth skin, not old, Asian student Perky Bust with a slim body and an Asian ass only with HOT CURVES you can hold me tight and close to you...

My rates are:

FULL GFE SERVICE:

My Rates:

$130 for 30mins

$200 for 45mins

$230 for 60mins

$480 for a 2 Hour special

MASSAGE Hand Relief:

30min $120

60min $200

I have a girlfriend who can play with us (by appointment only)

♢ DOUBLE PACKAGE ♢ - full service ( two girls )

Be polite, respect me, and ill give you a time to remember and that’s a promise.

Have a nice day 

CALL NO PRIVATE NO. ME ON 0402119458 If I don't reply, leave a TEXT MESSAGE so I can get back to you ASAP!!!

Hey there, handsome~ 😉

I’m Kaede — a 35-year-old real woman from Fukuoka, now living in Adelaide.

Life brought me here with my two beautiful kids, starting over after a painful past.

As a single mum, I do what I can to give my little ones a good life… and right now, that means spending warm, exciting time with you. 😊

I’m all natural — curves in the right places, soft skin, and a warm smile.

I love to laugh, cuddle, and make a man feel truly desired.

Whether you need relaxing company or wild, steamy fun… I’m here for you. 💕

Let’s forget the world for a while. You and me, together.

🌸 My Services – Sweet & Hot GFE

Kisses & gentle touching

Oral

kissing

Cuddles & closeness

Multiple positions

Showering together

Lingerie show

Overnight dates

Mutual pleasure with hands & mouth

Affectionate, girlfriend-style attention

Foot play welcome 😉

I’m available for incall in Adelaide and outcall to you.

Let’s make your time unforgettable — with lots of warmth, passion, and real connection.

Message me now… I can’t wait to meet you. ❤️‍🔥

Kaede x

😘 📞

 Exotic and Beautiful Girl from Thailand

Hello, I am Kitty, age 29🔥🔥🔥

Asian woman with tantalising breasts.

I will give you an amazing experience from start to finish. 

I love my work and I want to please your every desire. 

My body is toned and athletic, my skin is soft and supple.

I'm also very skillful in massage, I will make you feel so relaxed and comfortable during the time that you spend with me.

Come and see me, we will have a wonderful time together.

I am located in Parafield Gardens.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK TO SEE ANY MORE PHOTOS.

PLEASE CALL OR TEXT 0420 733 438 TO MAKE A BOOKING.

THANK YOU.

********************************************

So many choices in today's world... So I won't spend time convincing you that I am exactly what you want- but I will say if you want your mind (amongst other things!) blown by a certifiably sexy MILF who loves her job and knows ALL the things you like..

Then you are right where you should be!!!!

I'm a 39-year-old soccer mum. A MILF and I look exactly the same as the mum you secretly lust after at weekend sports or at the School gate .. Or maybe you once had a crush on your best friends mum? (or maybe it was your mums best friend !) Whoever it is, Im here so that the MILF you always wanted becomes the MYDF, (Mum You DID Fuck) and I promise I do that very,very well. 

I'm a size 12 to 14 , curves where they should be, soft skin ,amazing tits, Im not a supermodel but I am a very pretty girl and what I can offer you is priceless. No games, no starfish, no faking it - I'm a woman in my sexual prime who knows exactly what she wants- firstly , your happiness and contentment , and secondarily my own!  

I'm here for the same (mostly!!) reasons you are- to have fun and get laid. What else can I say. 

I'm able to host privately in a secure city location, I have beer, a great sense of humour , no gag reflex and there's even free parking (See? I know what boys like! lol ) 

So come and see me and let me look after you x