Cranbourne South Escorts & Adult Services
Skye
I'm Skye,
A published adult performer and former gymnast with a naturally warm, playful energy and a genuine love for what I do.
When I'm not working, you'll usually find me out in nature, enjoying time with friends and family, immersed in a book, studying, or just pottering around my house- maybe in the kitchen baking my favourite gluten-free blueberry muffins, getting dirty in the garden, or on the front deck waiting for the postman- birds singing and a cup of tea in hand.
I value connection, chemistry, and creating moments that feel effortless and enjoyable… where you can switch off, and simply enjoy yourself.
I take pride in creating a space where you feel comfortable, respected, and genuinely enjoyed.
If you're looking for something that feels real and a little indulgent…
Come spend some time with me
Skye Xx
https://skyemarie.manus.space/
Sensual - Slow - Soft - Feminine Lover - 0449935984 I accept SMS messages
Soften your body into my sensual touch to tease and edge you in all the right places.
I notice that what we all crave the most is intimacy and connection, to be touched with intention, care, softness.
Deep french kisses, warm naked body pressed against each other, fully immersed in the moment.
To escape into another world of pleasure and fantasy, to forget about the outside world for some time, to fully release all the tension you’ve been holding throughout the day and surrender to deep orgasmic pleasure.
As I take my time, I build up the tension between us. From the moment we meet, I am confident your body will instantly feel at ease.
You lay on the bed, surrender to my touch, mouth, and breath. Each subtle moment is for you, your pleasure, your body, your desire.
My Seductive Sensation experience is an invitation to surrender, immerse yourself into pleasure. I use nuru oil to enhance the sensation, as I glide my body over you, I work on the whole body, acknowledging all parts of you, my hands and mouth lead the way with soft, firm touches. I know exactly what will please you.
I allow anticipation to build naturally between us, giving us time to connect our bodies.
Your Pleasure Is My Priority
Think attentive, sensual and slow before intensity. Anticipation before release.
As desire builds gradually, it gives your body time to relax, awaken and become completely immersed in the experience. As the energy builds, so does the intensity.
I will slowly edge you closer to climax while allowing you to enjoy everything that comes before it.
The room will be lit by warm candlelight, soft surroundings and music carefully curated to draw you further into the moment.
There is no judgement and nothing you need to prove or perform. Just a private space to slow down, explore, connect and be completely present.
The Afterglow
I want you to leave with your body feeling lighter, your mind quieter and your senses awakened.
To step back into the world feeling deeply relaxed, connected and perhaps a little more alive than when you arrived.
Ultimate sensual desire
Sensual seductive tantric massage experience with warm oil
Natural oral pleasure woven throughout the experience
Deep, passionate French kissing
The opportunity for multiple finishes
Intentional, connected touch from beginning to end
Mutual oral pleasure and exploration
Unhurried intimacy with a focus on connection, desire and release
Option to include strip tease into tantric touch
Sensual seduction
A slow, full-body massage with warm oil, front and back
Intimate nude body-to-body connection
Soft breast-to-body contact
Gentle, intentional touch designed to awaken your senses
Covered oral pleasure
Slow teasing and sensory play, allowing anticipation to build
Mutual touch and exploration together
Breast kissing and deeper intimate connection
A stronger focus on anticipation, build-up and release
🍬🍬 NEW 《💖》 sexy and naughty ladyboy
💋Hi there:
I’m Mia . 24 years old Asian ladyboy.🍑💦💦I have 17cm penis, I can do top or bottom, depending on you.
I am New in Town. I am sweet, charming and beautiful and will melted your lonely heart away. I have beautiful silky skin and charming attractive eyes. I am full of fun and very crazy funny and naughty.👅
I am Never in a Rush providing service.
Text me on for fun.🤩
I will make sure that you will having an awesome experience💋💋Lay down and let me serve you like a king babe. I am also a good listener and fun chatter.
Text me Please! mobile if no answer, I’ll contact back ASAP.🤍💖💖
💰Massage+sex:
$250 - 30mins
$350 - 60mins
Extra charge for bbbj, and other services
Mobile massage relaxing outcall massage
hi this is Lulu ^^
i am studying at Melbourne now This is my part time …..
Size 6
This is outcall price deposit is half price
60 minutes/ 150
90 minutes/250
120 minutes/ 300
The price not including service
Deposit is half price
Hj 50
Nude +hj 100
Bj with condom 100
Full service 350 / hour. ^^
I This is incall price
private shop deposit 30
30 minutes/60
45/80
60/100
90/160
The price just massage not including service
Hj 50
Nude +hj 100
Bj +nude with condom 100
book need pay deposit first thanks understanding
Phone 0450041746
WhatsApp 0450041746
Line Sweet2222777
Wechat Sweet2222777
IVY New Filipina hot verse trans
📍huntingdale rd east side
( In call or Out call)
WhatsApp’s me or text me please 0412756350
I prepared WhatsApps ❤️
Hello Melbourne Australia 🇦🇺 I am new here so I don’t really know about this!
Please try me ur new gorgeous Filipina hot verse trans!
I never try drugs , never drink alcohol and never smoke meaning i’m healthy ! But I don’t mind if you use , you can use but I can’t try!
I love everything 🍆🍑🥵 I can CUM and I love to cum someone face or mouth 💦
Fit and sexy
7.0-7.5 🍆 hard , thick , cut and clean
Just text or phone call me for more details ❤️
Please note: I require the deposit several hours before your booking time, sent through PayID.
at least 1 day before the scheduled appointment. If you send the deposit only an hour before your booking time, I will not accept the booking.For weekend daytime bookings, the deposit must be sent
If you are unable to follow these requirements, please do not contact me. I do not accept rushed or last-minute bookings.
Thank you for your understanding.
please respect my time no play time and no wasting time .
I am Sassy Sin (Transgender)
I'm Sassy Sin, the epitome of seductive passion, horny and cheeky allure. My clientele say I'm a blend of warmth, intelligence, and playful mischief. I thrive on intimate connections and absolutely revel in exploring desire with my acquaintance. Versatility is my game, I adore being in control in the bedroom but love switching things up if that's what you crave. Let’s dive deep into pleasure together!
Status: 36DD/E-28-38
Body Figure: Voluptuous
Dress Size: 12
Genital: 5”, Circumcised, Fully Functional
Hair: Long Black
Skin: Tanned
Height: 173cm (without heels)
Location: St Kilda Road, Melbourne 3004
Smoke, Drugs & Disease Free (Tested every 3 months w/ proof of certificate)
In-Call: 300/hour
Out-Call: 500/hour
📱 +61 404 972 657
SMS & BLOCKED NUMBERS WILL BE IGNORED!
🚘 Outcall;
A deposit of 50% is required for out-call services. This service is primarily available for visits to hotels located in the Melbourne Central Business District (CBD) and its nearby areas. Up to 80% deposit required for tours and long bookings. For home visits, a deposit of 100% is necessary, and the client will also need to arrange for an Uber ride to cover the transportation costs both to and from the location.
🔥 Subscription:
photo contents:
https://erobella.com/au/escort/trans/australia/tssassysin/
video contents:
https://sinparty.com/tssassysin-cam?refcode=OYJWbDMRWn
📖 Read my Blog:
I share honest reflections from my journey in the sex work industry, the good, the challenging, and everything in between. Written between bookings or winding down from work, these stories reflect what I’ve seen, learned, and experienced over the years. I hope you enjoy reading, and if something resonates, feel free to leave a comment, your support means a lot.
https://punterplanet.com/blogs/blog/937-ts-sassy-sin/119-ts-sassy-sin’s-blog/https://punterplanet.com/
🎧 Listen to my Podcast:
Take a look at my past advocacy efforts supporting trans women of colour and sex work.
https://linktr.ee/bcd3cr
St Kilda Aisan Lady boy professional massage prostate massage
working in St Kilda
I'm Cici a easy going lady boy living in 77 queens Road St Kilda.
Private appartment.
I love dominant guys and watching them top a pussy in front of me.
Offering professional massage.Sensual oil deep rexla all types massage i can do. also i enjoy dominant the you if you wanna.
Text me when you ready to come.only message please
Extras are available
$100/30 mins
$120/45 mins
$150/hr
text me please i don't do rush job. Take things slowly.
Sexy Haazel Diamond Service Private Independent Freshly arrival
Name: Hazel
Breast Size: 35CC
Age: 20
Nationality: Thai
Height: 159cm
Weight: 48 Kg
Derss Size : 6
In meeting me, you will notice I truly enjoy getting to know my lovers on a very personal and intimate level. I am free – spirited, very open-minded and believe sexual pleasure is a human right. l have a large sexual appetite and have always fantasized about being a high-class escort and believe I have found my true calling.
My background is very noticeable in my exotic appearance. I have flawless smooth skin (just as seen in the photos) and bedroom hazel eyes. I have a tight and toned, size 7 hourglass figure with large size 36D breasts and a round and perky backside.
On my days off you are likely to find me at the gym or enjoying the great outdoors. I am passionate about having a positive mindset towards life.
My photos have been taken in the last three months.
I OFFER Incall and Outcall full service
FULL SERVICES including SEX:
Passionate French Kissing
Shower together
hugging and touchingSensual tickling, cuddling,
Erotic nude massage & body slide with aromatherapy oil
Hand job and blow job, 69
Good sex in multi positions
My full service rates are
$180 - 30 mins
$280 - 60 mins.
Outcall $450 - 60 mins up plus uber
EROTIC NUDE MASSAGE SERVICES:
soft relaxing nude body massage
oil massage
deep tissue massage
body slide
hand job
Extra service Natural BBBJ , COF, COB, CIM, Rimming, Deep Thoat, Giveing Golden Shwer etc. Please enquiry.
💖Size 6🥵Japanese Honey wet girl ❤️ 💋Busty E-cups
Model good looking girl. I have size 6 body. I am polite and respect to my client. I have very good skills to make my client happy. I have sexy leg N busty you will like it. Once u touch me u will never forget.
I’m naturally affectionate, open-minded and easy to connect with. For me, the best time together comes from genuine chemistry — feeling comfortable, sharing a few laughs and letting everything flow naturally without watching the clock.
💝My body rub will reduce your tension and give you a sensual relax💝
Satisfaction and Enjoyment Awaits you........
🌟 RATE: come to see us:
🌟 $250 / 30 min
🌟 $380 / 45 min
🌟 $450 / 60 min
❤️🔥 Don’t miss out! Your next amazing experience is waiting for you! ❤️🔥
High Class top Escort Exotic ,Classy,Beautiful in Natural !!
Hi,xx
My name is Jace ,I am young and full of passion. I am waiting for you to taste my natural soft C cup breasts, I would love to be touched all over my body especially my sexy, long legs.
I love performing a sexy little striptease to tempt you, then lie back, relax and let my soft, warm and very skilled hands explore you all over as I touch, tease, ease and arouse you all at once.Would you like stunning lady riding you?
I am very friendly; relaxed. I provide a gentle caring service, with clean surrounds and facilities. Let me caress your body & make you feel alive again. You are sure to leave totally satisfied!!!
Standard service
$200/30 , $250/45 , $300/60 Touching ,sexy lingerie , passionate intimate pleasure , massage , variety of position , breast slides, breast sucking , sex with condom, blow job with condom
Extra service Bbbj + 50, 69 + 50, dfk + 50, CIM + 50,
0416085394
Jace xo
Exclusively in Australia💥: Innocent and beautiful Carrie💋💋
Standing 168 centimeters tall with naturally wavy, well-defined facial features, she inevitably becomes the center of attention wherever she goes. Beyond her appearance, she is bilingual and leads a simple, low-key private life—a high-achieving academic standout.
100% authentic, real-life photos—what you see is exactly what you get. I am truly loves pleasing men and collecting their essence. 💦👅
With 360-degree flawless, exquisite features, her face is alluring yet classy. She has large, sparkling, round eyes, full and luscious pouty pink lips, and a high, defined bridge—her facial structure is remarkably deep and three-dimensional.🔥
My skin is a pure, milky, snow-white—the lightest shade possible for an Asian woman, rivaling that of a Caucasian woman. A dream come true for breast enthusiasts: she boasts completely natural, world-class, massive "I-cup" breasts—truly miraculous, basketball-sized assets that are a rare find in this world.
Imagine pinning those magnificent, heavy breasts beneath you, while her firm, perky, peach-like buttocks bounce with every thrust. Add in her soft, sweet, and sultry Taiwanese-accented voice—along with the uninhibited, wild moans that escape her during the heat of the moment—and it’s enough to leave anyone completely dazed and captivated.
✨Girlfriend Experience
$250 - 30 minutes
$380 - 45 minutes
$450 - 60 minutes
❤️Naughty sexy girl Rebecca 💏looking for some fun bookings😘
Hey x
My I'm Rebecca
Age of 22yo. I'm size 6 , with D cup
I'm a hot sexy super friendly naughty girl!
I'm a playful person who can make your dreams come true😏
I know what I'm doing so you don't have to worry about anything else
I got you covered 😉
love and care about my customers and would give you a sugar rush but never offer service in a rush
So the time we spend together will be worth it and exciting x
And tan silky skin
● Rate of SERVICE ●
30MINS $ 350●
60MINS $ 500●
Outcall rate●●
$600/hr + Uber fee deposit●
Text : 0485549119 to book
Hey EB New baby has arrive Cora Your best playmate in Town
Hi, all handsome
🌀I am AVAILABLE NOW
I work from DAY to Late night .
Come take me .
I can be your best playmate .
I am Cora . I am searching for YOU !!
I couldn’t explain much here but I prefer to have a conversation with you .
Do you mind give me a call or text ..
then ask any question ..
I have sweet voice . amazing body figure and boobs size really take your attention !
I have a special service for you . come in a package .
While you feel lonely and horny . remember call my number . i will assist you !
I am very good looking , adorable .
Intimate GFE !!! must find me !!!!
service rate :
$150/30
$200/45
$250/60
Dfk + 50 , Bbbj + 50 , Cim + 50 , Lick + 50
👑 ZURI – 28, THICK, & READY TO RIDE YOUR FACE TILL YOU FORGET YOUR OWN NAME 👑
😈 yeah you read that right – I'm Zuri
28yo, built like a goddamn snack… nah scratch that – I'm the WHOLE MEAL
big tits, big ass, tiny waist – you do the math baby
—————————————————————
lemme ask you somethin –
you ever had a woman so thick she leaves handprints on your soul??
nah??
then buckle up buttercup ‘cause I'm bout to ruin you for anyone else
—————————————————————
I ain't here to be all sweet n shy
I'm here to sit on your face till you see god – n then do it again just for fun
you wanna bury your nose in my ass?? good
you wanna suck my tits till your jaw hurts?? even better
I'll grind that pussy on your mouth till you're gaspin n beggin for air –
but I won't stop till I feel your tongue twitchin inside me like you mean it
—————————————————————
then when I'm done teasin??
I'll flip you over n ride you like you owe me rent
slow n deep – or fast n nasty – I read the room baby
one minute I'm kissin your neck all sweet
next minute I'm smotherin you with my tits n callin you my little bitch
😜
—————————————————————
I love lookin back at you while I bounce –
watchin your eyes roll back, hearin you moan my name all broken n breathless
I'll stop mid-ride just to rub my wet pussy all over your cock –
tease you till you're drippin precum n shakin –
then I'll sink down again real slow n make you feel EVERY INCH of me
—————————————————————
you think you can handle that??
‘cause most guys tap out after round one –
but me?? I got stamina for DAYS
I'll drain you dry – then wake you up at 3am for more
don't say I didn't warn ya 😈
—————————————————————
now look –
I keep it real. no fairy tales, no fake moans
you come see me – you get ALL of me
the jiggly thighs, the sweaty skin, the loud messy sounds –
the kinda sex that leaves your legs shakin n your mind blank
—————————————————————
💰 payments?? easy –
cash 💵 or PAYID (instant only – if it's pending or delayed, I ain't waitin sorry not sorry)
📱 text me – don't call
I'm probably busy makin some other fella see stars
but I'll hit you back soon as I'm free… n trust me, I'll be thinkin bout what I'm gonna do to ya
—————————————————————
so whatcha waitin for??
you already read this far – that means your dick is thinkin for you now
come get smothered, drained, n completely wrecked
Zuri's waitin 💋
—————————————————————
text me. now.
I dare ya.
– Zuri 🍑💦
Hi, I’m Ahamasaki – New sweet japanese just arrived au!
I’m a Japanese girl, here to bring a touch of warmth, softness and sensuality into your day.
I stand at 162cm, with a naturally slim figure and a natural D cup – soft to the touch and real in every way. I’m gentle, sweet, and love to take my time to connect. Whether you're looking for someone to relax with, enjoy real GFE moments, or simply escape into something more personal and warm — I’m here for you.
I speak fluent Japanese and conversational English, and I always make sure our time feels unhurried, genuine and memorable.
If you're around Burwood or nearby and looking for something special, I’d love to meet you.
Let’s enjoy something real, just the two of us.
Message me to book or ask anything – I’m easy to talk to.
Incall:
$300/30mins
$450/45mins
$500/60mins
Outcall:
$500/60mins + travel
Text me 0432 550 824
Meelo – Sweet Vietnamese BODYRUB | Natural D-Cup, Warm & Attentive
Hi… I’m Meelo
A Vietnamese girl, 160cm, Size 7, with a naturally soft, feminine body and a full natural D-cup that feels even better than it looks.
I have a sweet face and a gentle smile… but when you’re close to me, you’ll feel a more playful, warm side that slowly draws you in.
I’m very attentive and affectionate, and I love creating a space where you can fully relax… forget everything outside… and just enjoy the moment with me.
I’m not the type to rush.
I like to take things slow… feel your energy… and let everything build naturally.
With me, you can expect:
- A soft, relaxing massage that melts your stress away
- Warm, gentle touch that lingers just a little longer
- Close, comfortable interaction that feels natural and easy
- A sweet, intimate atmosphere where you can truly unwind
- Warm massage and jerk off for you
I enjoy making you feel comfortable… but also a little excited, in a way that keeps you thinking about me even after you leave.
Rates:
Bodyrub
$200/30 mins
$300/hr
If you’re looking for a girl who is soft, sweet, and just a little bit tempting,
come spend some time with me…
🍑Party 1000 % Real Young Pretty GFE Outcall Naughty Amazing Sweet Juicy Hot Fuck Hard
Hey gentlemen. I'm your delicious tempting true down to earth young lady. Full of vitality, love and laughter. I'm sure to bring a genuine spark to our encounter.
I exude Aphrodite energy. Sexy. Sultry. Vivacious. Possessing an insatiable appetite for steamy erotic encounters. I can be tender and sensuous or ravenous and wild, ncounter are specifically tailored your individual needs.
Ultimate pleasure for everyone is what your encounter with me . I offer an authentic. Warm and loving connection. Interesting conversation and a true desire to get to know you and what makes you happy .
Let me take you away from the stresses of life. Bring back to that spark.
Full service including : Shower together, kissing and cuddling, body rub and slides, nipple licking and sucking, body kissing, fingertip teasing, cbj, mutual play 69, edging, full service, bj and sex with condom. as many positions as you can pretzel me into, cum on body, massage
🏠My Incall Full service Rates are as following:
Condom sex
$250 for 60 mins
$200 for 45 mins
$150 for 30 mins.
🚗Outcall at least one hr 500 depends on.
⭐️Some Special service pay extra :
•Natural bj
•Cum in mouth
•rimming on you and so on
Don’t hesitate to contact me anytime babe , I am waiting for you .
😘 24 hours Siren🍒Best Party adventurous New naughty Girl Hot Body
24 hours New naughty baby waiting for you 💖💖 Playful full service for you💋diamond service specially😘 smile alway on my face😘👁️
Name: Siren
Breast Size: 36E
Age: 22
Height: 165cm
Weight: 48 Kg
Derss Size : 7
In meeting me, you will notice I truly enjoy getting to know my lovers on a very personal and intimate level. I am free – spirited, very open-minded and believe sexual pleasure is a human right. l have a large sexual appetite and have always fantasized about being a high-class escort and believe I have found my true calling.
My background is very noticeable in my exotic appearance. I have flawless smooth skin and bedroom hazel eyes. I have a tight and toned, size 7 hourglass figure with large size 36D breasts and a round and perky backside.
On my days off you are likely to find me at the gym or enjoying the great outdoors. I am passionate about having a positive mindset towards life.
In My GFE services I provide:
Passionate deep kissing
Sex with different positions
Cuddling and Touching/ hugs
Juicy and Wet Body Slide
Striptease
Teasing Foreplay
Shower together
Oral / blow job / Love sucking
Sexy Lingerie
Full Body Massage
Head & Foot Massage
Mutual Masturbation
Fetishes
Foot Fetishes
Party Bookings
My full service rates are
$180 - 30mins
$230 - 45mins
$280 - 60mins
❄️👁️Power Puff service 💨
diamond gfe service 💋😘
plz text me for more information
Outcall
$450/1 hour depends on the location
Happy to do overnight or long booking for more pleasure
Text me if you want to equriey about my extra service
🔥🍆 I’M ALMAY, 40 & STILL A GODDAMN MESS – WANNA DROWN IN THIS WET PUSSY? THEN TEXT ME, YA DUMB FUCK 🍆🔥
Hey there dick-for-brains. Yeah you – scrollin’ through this shit with one hand down your pants.
I ain’t gonna sweet-talk ya. Save that crap for your momma.
I’m Almay. Forty. Not some saggy granny but not a damn teen either. Got stretchmarks like tiger stripes, tits that still flop nice when I bounce, and a cunt that’s wetter than a busted fire hydrant on a Jan sidewalk.
You think forty means “calm down”? HA. Fuck off. I’m hornier now than when I was twenty. My ex-husband? That limp dick couldn’t find my clit if I glued a neon arrow to it. So I stopped waitin’ around.
Lemme tell ya ‘bout last Tuesday.
Plumber dude showed up at 2pm – said he needed to check a leak under my sink. Guy was short, chubby, sweaty, with a crooked mustache and thick sausage fingers. I answered the door in nothin’ but an old ratty bathrobe, no bra, my nipples pokin’ through like “hello there”. He tried to be professional. Kept lookin’ at my rack while pretendin’ to fiddle with the pipes.
I bent over to grab him a soda from the bottom shelf – robe opens up, my whole fat pussy just hangin’ out. He froze. Dropped his wrench. When he stood up, his zipper was bulgin’ like a pissed-off snake.
So I just laughed. Walked over. Unbuttoned his pants with my teeth – yeah I still got my front teeth, shut up – and pulled his fat cock out. It wasn’t pretty. It was red, throbbin’, pre-cum already drippin’. I licked it like a lollipop and then stuffed the whole thing down my throat right there on the kitchen floor. He made this funny squeaky noise like a stepped-on rat.
I pulled off, looked up, and said “Now fuck me like you’re tryin’ to unclog my pipes – hard, messy, and don’t stop ‘til I feel it in my tonsils.”
He didn’t laugh. Just grabbed my hips, shoved me face-down on the linoleum, and hammered my wet hole so deep I saw stars. He came inside me twice. First load shot so deep I felt it warm my belly. Second one? Dripped down my thighs like runny eggs. Left his plunger behind. I still use the handle as a toy. True story.
What I want from you (read it slow, you illiterate fuck):
👉 Bareback / No C0Ndom – yeah RAW as hell. Rubbers are for pussies and nervous first-timers. My oven’s empty – no babies comin’ from this forty-year-old belly. So pump your nasty cream deep inside my sloppy cunt and watch it ooze. Creampiie (I spelled it wrong, bite me).
👉 NAT RAW – means nothin’ between us, dipshit. Skin to skin. Your twitchy dick against my wet walls. I wanna feel your hot load splash my insides like a broken egg.
I don’t care if you’re 20 or 60. Fat, thin, crooked cock, dad bod – don’t matter. Just show up hard, ready, and willin’ to dump every last drop inside me.
💵 PAYMENT – CASH or PAYID (INSTANT ONLY – delayed or pending transfers can eat my whole ass. If your payment ain’t green in my account the second you press send, you can walk your blue balls right back out my door. Cash is king, PayID is queen – anything else? Fuck off.)
📱 TEXT ME. Don’t you fuckin’ call. I’m probably busy ridin’ some other bastard’s face or gettin’ my guts rearranged. I’ll text you back when I’m done – if you’re lucky, and if I ain’t too busy drippin’ down my thighs.
One more thing, ‘cause I know you’re already jerkin’ it with one hand and typin’ with the other:
I spent my thirties raisin’ kids and chasin’ a husband who couldn’t get it up without Viagra and a prayer. Now I’m forty, horny as a teenage boy, and I wanna ride your face, then your cock, then your face again. No breaks. No “slow down Alma.” Shut the fuck up and breed me like the filthy slut I am.
Still readin’? Good. Then stop playin’ with yourself and send me a goddamn text. My legs are already open. My cunt’s already soakin’ through my old lady panties.
Your move, asshole. 😘💦
P.S. Don’t ask for pics. I look exactly like a forty-year-old mom who just got railed sideways and didn’t bother to shower. You’ll love it or you’ll leave. Either way, I don’t give a flyin’ fuck. 🖕
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