Warwick Escorts & Adult Services

Hey gentlemen ♡

It’s Kaitlin, your new Horny Asian girl at EB.

0472 813 516

I’m currently working from my private house in Morley & ready to please you – that means I’m fully focused on you when we meet.

Quick about me: 162cm, 48kg, natural perky D-cups that are super sensitive, glowing fair skin, long dark hair, big eyes, and a sweet smile.

I speak fluent English and some cute basic Chinese – feel free to teach me more ♡.

I love the full girlfriend experience: warm hugs and soft kisses from the start, long steamy showers together, deep French kissing, slow teasing oral, playing with my D-cups, multiple positions and rounds (I get wet fast and moan for real), plus cuddles and pillow talk afterwards.

If you want a real naughty girl who’s sweet, smart, and passionate in private…

My rates are:

INCALL

20mins $80

30mins $100

45mins $130

60mins $150

Plenty of Extra - Feel Free to ask me~

Can’t wait to spoil you ♡

Kaitlin

0472 813 516

Open 7 days (never close) 10am to 9pm (last booking 8pm) Contact No: 0423548558

NEW SPANISH:FRI SAT

INDONESIAN ANGEL E CUP SIZE 6 TUE WED THUR SUN

Dear my valued customers: This season, our girls change new uniforms- hottest and sexy air hostess. When you enter our shop, you are not just VIP now. We will bring you to enjoy first class place and services. "Hi, babe! Welcome to Dream Girl!" Welcome to Dream Girl Massage - the hottest and popular legally licensed remedial and nude massage studio in Sydney, this is the only one best place for you to get the perfect combination remedial massage with erotic massage at definitely most luxurious environment. We are located in north of river 10 min drive from Perth CBD. We provide remedial massage, fully body oil massage, relaxation massage, nude massage, erotic massage, Double services, Lesbian Double, Couple Services, Role Play, Dress Up, Group party, Escort Services with around 20 girls everyday, around 200 sexy gorgeous masseuses every week. With us, you will enjoy the most luxurious environment, highest quality massage services and most professional personality. Our Luxurious Peaceful Private Studio: Our studio is a most modern luxurious place with a relaxing peaceful atmosphere, like a 5-Star hotel. Whole day Air Conditioned. The high class stationary massage tables, luxurious beds ,sofas, furniture, massage oil are professionally manufactured. Each room is modern and spacious, and contains shower facility. Couple rooms also available. All clients will enjoy a relaxing private room with sensual lighting and very romantic clSyd assical music will accompany with you during massage serviceNo.1 100 Uni girl/w EURO Asian❤️ India Latina Dream Girl, Alexandria we have around 20 girls, different 18-22yo cute, beautiful high class and professional Uni Girls, Office Ladies, models, international masseuses. All our girls are strictly selected and trained, and new faces join our team all the time. They dress up as nurses, Uni-students, air hostess, maid, office lady wearing sexy uniforms with soft smiles on our faces to provide best professional massage services to you, release your stress after your tight work. Our Massage Services: All our girls are not only young sexy and pretty, but also have professional massage skill and professional personality to satisfy you. At Dream Girl, even our receptionists are strictly selected and trained, have a strong sense of duty to assist with making sure you are satisfied and happy. We focus to pamper you from head to toe with care, treating you just like "an emperor with the utmost enjoyment and care". We aim to provide dream place where there are only highest class dream girls massage for you, and promise never upset you every time you visit. Please come to visit our studio, enjoy the best professional, popular and 5 star hotel style massage experience! Business hour: Open 7 days (never close) 10am to 8pm (last booking 8pm) Tips: Frequently asked question: what's the best time to visit our shop? I only can generally to answer this question. Only if you can plan your time or your convenience, anytime start 10 am or earlier in the daytime everything is fresh. However, we have around 20 girls everyday, so anytime you are more convenient is also fine since we have enough girls to look after you. Our Prices: (EFTPOS available, 10% surcharge. Also, ATM just next door)

Remedial Full Body Massage 30 mins---------------------$55 45 mins---------------------$70 60 mins---------------------$90

(If nothing special, we will arrange 2 girls for you. Each girl does 60 min, make sure you get more fresh & quality service)

BOOKINGS ARE ESSENTIAL!

AFRICAN:MON WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRI SUN 10am to 4pm

AUSSIE: THUR FRI

THAI GIRL:MON FRI SAT SUN

JAPANESE ::MON TUE WED FRI SUN

Friday Roster: Summer: New Top Girl! 21yo, 168cm, C Cup, a leggy Thailand air hostess. Tall slim but sexy curvy body, perfect smooth milky skin and gorgeous looking. Very friendly with great smile all the time. Summer is the simplest girl. She always focus on providing wonderful skills and services!

EURO Asian❤️ Indonisia Dream Girl,Angel ----open mind, firstly class services, No.1 good nice girl, everyone will respect her since she is always nice and offers best service. If u looking for open mind services, Summer is the right girl. Book to try.

 Coco: New Top Girl! 23yo, 165cm, C Cup, a luscious Chinese girl. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. First class massage skills and services. -- If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Coco is the right girl!

Vicky: New Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, a luscious fashion school girl from Taiwan. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. Fantastic massage skills and services. --Super young sweet girl, if you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Vicky is the right girl!

 Jenny: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, Chinese, long shining hair, big enchanting eyes with bubbly, chatty & soft personality. Jenny is very friendly, your feel total relax when stay with her. With her truly intimate girlfriend experience you will feel like a King. --The most friendly and passionate girl. The money you spent on her services is 100% worthwhile. Tracy: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, a top model from Thailand, gorgeous looking, sun kissed skin, long shining hair, big enchanting eyes with bubbly, chatty & soft personality. Tracy is very friendly, your feel total relax when stay with her. With her truly intimate girlfriend experience you will feel like a King. --The most friendly and passionate girl, must try. The money you spent on her services is 100% worthwhile.

 Cici: New Top Girl! 25yo, 165cm, a luscious fashion lady from China. Innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. --If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Cici is the right girl! Mina: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, a lovely Thai beauty. Sweet and innocent, sun kissed skin, very glamorous face with shining eyes could speak. Just like your first lover! Beautiful personality, she is very patient and friendly to everyone. --Chatty and friendly, very easy to connect with, gorgeous services. Innocent uni girl, wait for you to share your life experience with her.

Jasmine: New Top Girl! 20yo, 163cm, C Cup, very cute angel from Vietnam. Sweet and innocent face, milky smooth skin, petite sexy body and very soft personality. She looks like an artless girl next door, but she is experienced to provide first class services. --Very cute face, she is the simplest and artless girl you are looking for. Open mind services, your money spend on her will be 100% worth back. Eva: New Top Girl! 21yo, 167cm, C Cup, an innocent Chinese Uni girl. Sweet looking, sexy figure with beautiful long legs. Delightful personality and first class skills. She is the most patient and easy girl, you feel totally relax when you stay with her. Her specialty is a sensual and passionate massage and services! All feeling from Eva is I am always a happy girl look after everyone best! Every gentleman "I am Eva, I am a really good girl to you, kiss kiss!" --Very nice uni girl, but really professional skill. Open mind services, she is ready to fulfil all your hidden desires.

 Jojo: New Top Girl! 21yo, 165cm, C Cup, affectionate lovely Chinese girl. Stunning looking, curvy figure and beautiful personality. She always brings a positive attitude, treats every gentleman like her best friend. She offers first class massage skills and services. Honestly, she makes every gentleman happy at the end! --Very patient girl, always optimistic and happy, she can rejuvenate both your body and your mind.

Cici: New Top Girl! 25yo, 165cm, a luscious fashion lady from China. Innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. --If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Cici is the right girl!

Mandy: New Top Girl! 23yo, 165cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion school girl. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. First class massage skills and services. -- If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Mandy is the right girl!

 Apple: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion Korean girl. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. First class massage skills and services. -- If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Apple is the right girl!

 Penny: New Top Girl! 22yo, 170cm, D Cup, a very enchanting model. New to Australia. Gorgeous looking, leggy curvaceous figure. You burned when you see her natural D bust. Fantastic massage skills, she can make you totally relax. --Beautiful personality, she is very patient and friendly to everyone. Linda: Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, C Cup, a pretty Taiwanese uni girl, new arrival to Australia. Very passionate and soft personality, 5 star feedback, she offer GFE.

Saturday Roster: Summer: New Top Girl! 21yo, 168cm, C Cup, a leggy Thailand air hostess. Tall slim but sexy curvy body, perfect smooth milky skin and gorgeous looking. Very friendly with great smile all the time. Summer is the simplest girl. She always focus on providing wonderful skills and services! ----open mind, firstly class services, No.1 good nice girl, everyone will respect her since she is always nice and offers best service. If u looking for open mind services, Summer is the right girl. Book to try.

Wendy: 25yo, 165cm, C Cup, elegant and polite Chinese lady. She is the typical Chinese beauty, well educated and gentle manner. But she is hot and passionate when you close the door. --Fantastic massage skills, she will give you the massage you never had before.

Amanda: New Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, a luscious fashion school girl from Hong Kong. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. Fantastic massage skills and services. --Super young sweet girl, if you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Amanda is the right girl!

 Vivian: New Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion school girl from China. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, sexy curvy body, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. Fantastic massage skills and services. --Super young sweet girl, if you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Vivian is the right one

EURO Amerian Dream Girl, Sophia She is all men's sexy dream girl! Sweet and innocent face, milky smooth skin, petite sexy body and very soft personality. She looks like an artless girl next door, but she is experienced to provide first class services. --Very cute face, she is the simplest and artless girl you are looking for. Open mind services, your money spend on her will be 100% worth back.

Tracy: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, a top model from Thailand, gorgeous looking, sun kissed skin, long shining hair, big enchanting eyes with bubbly, chatty & soft personality. Tracy is very friendly, your feel total relax when stay with her. With her truly intimate girlfriend experience you will feel like a King. --The most friendly and passionate girl, must try. The money you spent on her services is 100% worthwhile.

Apple: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion Korean girl. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. First class massage skills and services. -- If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Apple is the right girl!

Mandy: New Top Girl! 23yo, 165cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion school girl. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, long silky sexy hair, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. First class massage skills and services. -- If you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Mandy is the right girl!

 Victoria: New Top Girl! 22yo, 167cm, D Cup, a very enchanting model. New to Australia. Gorgeous looking, leggy curvaceous figure. You burned when you see her natural D bust. Fantastic massage skills, she can make you totally relax. --Beautiful personality, she is very patient and friendly to everyone. Polly: Top Girl! 20yo, 165cm, D Cup, sun kissed skin, slim but curvaceous body and a killer booty. She is a very apprehensive girl offers 5 star massage services and first class erotic experience. --sexy face and hot body uni girl, top service, book to try. Claire: 20yo, 165cm, D Cup, genuine & naughty HK beauty. She offers ultimate sensual Girl Friend Experience.

Sunday Roster: (Fully beautiful girls on Sunday!)

 Queenie: New Top Girl! Aussie girl with German background. 22yo, 173cm, H Cup, a super busty hourglass girl. Sydney No.1 big busty. Fashionable gorgeous looking and perfect soft personality like an angel. When you see her, you will marvel at her breath taking H boobs and sexy hot booty. You can't wait to stroke her wonderful body! Amazing services and beautiful personality. She never got upset and always smile. She is ready to bring you pleasure with her H Cup boobs. --Sydney No.1 big busty girl, very passionate. You will find out: "I want to stay one more hour with her. Her smile and body are really enjoyable!"

 Yuko: New Top Girl! Japan, 22yo, 165cm, C Cup, long curvy hair, stunning face like a movie star, curvaceous Japanese beauty. Fashionable super gorgeous looking, Sexy hot athletic body which could take your breath away. Beautiful personality, She is the most tender girl you can found, her sweet and soft voice will melt your heart. A must see perfect dream lover! --super star looking and sweet personality girl. Please call to book. Highly recommended!

Miumiu: Top Girl! 23yo, 165cm, C Cup, milky smooth skin, a graceful leggy Chinese Office Lady! Sweet pretty face, curvaceous figure and very friendly. She can be your very naughty girl friend to meet all your desires. --“The Dragon Tendon Massage is really amazing! I wish to stay one more hour. —Feedback from her satisfied client. Call to book Dragon Tendon massage which include prostate massage

 Grace: New Top Girl! 22yo, 165cm, 100% E Cup. A must see luscious Taiwanese beauty. Fashionable gorgeous looking, Smooth milky skin, and super hot E Bust line which could take your breath away. Your hands are not big enough to catch her big boobs. When her big boobs slide on your body will make you crazy. Especially when she's in our sexy uniform, all your sexual fantasies come true! She is all men's sexy dream girl! --Super busty girl, If you are looking for a sweet and soft personality girl, she's the best choice. You stay with her and you will say "Oh! Too good delicious! All delicious girls at Dream Girl 130."

 Vivian: New Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, C Cup, a luscious fashion school girl from China. New to industry, innocent and stunning looking, sexy curvy body, soft personality and sweet talking, very friendly with enchanting smile all the time. Fantastic massage skills and services. --Super young sweet girl, if you are looking for first love Girl Friend Experience, Vivian is the right girl! She is all men's sexy dream girl!

Chanel: New Top Girl! 20yo, 167cm, C cup , A must see luscious "Miss Taiwan". Top model slim body, smooth milky skin and movie star beautiful face with enchanting smile always. She is the typical Taiwanese female, sweet, polite, soft & patient personality. She is the girl you always see in the poster, a perfect combination of the face of Angel and model figure. Therefore, she can be a graceful Taiwanese beauty to offer you King Experience with her magical skills and sweet personality. 5 star massage skills and services. When staying with her, your feeling are as the morning sunshine. --If you looking for a sweet, soft personality and beautiful girl, she's the best choice. Open mind service, You stay with her and you will find out why she is always fully booked.

I am New in Town.

I am sweet, charming, and beautiful and will melt your lonely heart away.

My hands can be gentle which is good enough to make you feel great.

I also can massage you in a very erotic way which can make you relax and

forget all the tiredness after a full day of work.

My magic sexy mouth can lick on your body and give you the best oral sex. You will have an awesome happy ending with me.

I am a very good sucker and you enjoy it. I will make sure that you will have an awesome organism. Cum to see me, babe.

Great enjoyable full service such as kiss, body licking, COB, BJ, erotic massage, hand relief, cuddle, body rub and sliding 69, Sexy Lingerie, Foreplay, Face sitting, variety of positions sex, and fantasy you desire. Xoxo.

I will give you very good service.

Today we've invited Laura, 35, from Australia; Yoyo, from Singapore; and Lisa, from Taiwan. Come meet them!

Ocean reef 6027

Hi babes, we have pretty masseurs to provide you unforgettable massage experience, our girls are rostered differently every single day, so come and check it out by text on Every day, girls from different countries work here. Singapore Thailand Japan South Korea Taiwan and AUSTRALIA GIRLS.

Massage

15 mins $30

30 mins $50

45 mins $70

60 mins $85

90 mins $130

Prostate massage price list

15mins $100

30mins $120

45mins $140

60mins $170 

**WALK INS WELCOME**

Extras available

Free parking

*Shower is available.

Address: 5A/64 Marina Boulevard, Ocean Reef 6027

Contact 0410147556

we open 9:30am - 9:00pm daily

💕MISS ELLA BELLA 💕

📱 0️⃣4️⃣7️⃣5️⃣ 8️⃣7️⃣7️⃣ 9️⃣9️⃣0️⃣ 📱

👉Unit 16/7 Delage St. JOONDALUP WA6027 

◦ Opening hours 

😘Sunday ~Thursday 😘

◦ 10AM to 2AM

😘Friday ~ SATURDAY 😘

◦ 10AM to 4AM

◦ 💕Rates💕 

Asian girl

• 20mins ~~$150

•. 30mins ~~$170

•. 45mins~~ $220

•. 1hr~~~~~$250

Asian 19yo~23yo

•. 20min ~~ $180

•. 30min ~~ $230

•. 45min ~~ $270

•. 1hr ~~~~ $320

Oz. African. Other girl 

◦ 20mins~~$200

◦ 30mins~~$250

◦ 45mins~~$300

◦ 1hr~~~~~$350

 Extra service available

💕💕 OUTCALL from $350 ~~

📱📲 0475 877 990 📱📲

☎️ 08) 9301 2356 MISS ELLA BELLA

We accept CASH. PAY ID. CARD (10% surcharge)

payment 💵 plz BRING CASH 💵

Are you looking for a most relaxing massage with 'fun'? Indulge in Saucy Good Fun with an Irrepressibly Mature and Sensual Blonde, Female Australian.

I'm available Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays for soothing sensual massages with added 'fun', 10am to 5.30pm.

I'm Laura,a wonderfully naughty and sexy Australian lady, with a vivacious, playful nature, gorgeous looks and a fun-loving, curious character. I'm a size 8 dress, busty DD cup, 5ft8 tall and extremely fit.

Gorgeous man, if you want a massage with 'fun' and connect with depth then look no further, and if it's past due time for you to upgrade to a new kind of 'fun' with depth, then I invite you to spend some time with me and experience a more connected and sensual experience.

I’m a non-smoker and don’t participate in the ‘party’ scene and I appreciate your respect for me by not asking or trying to coerce me into your ‘party’ realm for favours.  Taking care of my total health and well-being is my highest priority and Party goers will be refused.

I’m strict on protection and healthcare so we can all be protected. Gentlemen if you have an issue with this, you are always free to book someone else.

I hope to make your acquaintance soon!

XXX Laura

Please note: I DO NOT OFFER ANY NATURAL OR GREEK SERVICE SO PLEASE DON'T ASK

GENUINE CALLERS ONLY

PRIVATE NUMBERS WON'T BE ANSWERED SO PLEASE UNBLOCK YOUR NUMBERS

YOUR VERY OWN PERSONAL PORN STAR!

AVAILABLE NOW!!

Meet the sexy & horny pocket rocket Lana Fuxx! Ready to rock your socks off with some wild & dirty fun! 

Looking for a REAL AUSSIE girl that knows how to get down & naughty in the bedroom? I can fuck you like your favourite porn star! I guarantee I will leave you with a smile on your face & memorys of me that will permanently be in your wank bank.

Im a petite sz 8 brunette European looks with perky natural DD cup breasts & a nice hot ass like a peach. I enjoy evey position & love to please in the bedroom. Im also fun & entertaining if you are looking for a companion for a naughty weekend away or dinner date without the headache the current dating world brings. 

 0473000519

SORRY NO TRADE

NO MONEY = NO HONEY

NO NATURAL SEX (asking me will only get you blocked & blacklisted)

My full service includes:

Sexy shower for 2

Cuddling

Affection 

Sensual massage

Oral on you

DATY

Spanish

COB

Multiple positions

Light spanking (on me) 

Lingerie

Mutual oral

OUTCALL-

30 min F/S - $450

45 min F/S - $500

1 Hour F/S - $550

INCALL-

1 Hour F/S - $500

45 min F/S - $450

30 min F/S - $400

 0473000519

Hello Guys,

I'm Anna. Thank you for taking your time to read my profile.

 I am here to please you and have some fun along the way

I am blessed with face beauty and have a flawless complexion with silky brown hair, gorgeous natural breasts and soft creamy skin and I have an explosive appetite for sex...

I will be the exact girl who opens the door for you.. The same pictures you see in my profile and the same girl texting you......

PHOTOS ARE  RECENTLY TAKEN 💋 

✔️Full Service ✔️Body rub ✔️ Genuine Girl Friend Experience

✔️ Different Positions ✔️ Touching / Rubbing )

I am clean, healthy and disease free.

No Drama, No Tricks or switching...You won’t be disappointed!!!

And you will get what you pay for even more than expected!!!

I am available for In-call at my private place..Shower and clean towels available.

💋 No cheating 💋 No Swapping 💋 Real and Genuine 💋 No rush service

Please text me as this is my preferred contact, as I may not always be able to take your phone call...I will return your message as quick as i can

(No Private numbers or Time Wasters Please)

Relaxing Massage include HJ

15mins $70

30mins $100

45mins $120

60mins $140

90mins $180

Prostate Massage

30mins $130

60mins $180

 💥 Call Me / Text Me 💥

Walk in Preferred

Bloom Massage

3d/209 Winton Rd, Joondalup WA 6026

Anna 0460 535 544

Tomorrow we have new girls joining - one's 25 from Singapore and another from Taiwan LisaWork together

Mullaloo

Hi babes, we have pretty masseurs to provide you unforgettable massage experience, our girls are rostered differently every single day, so come and check it out by text on Every day, girls from different countries work here. Singapore Thailand Japan South Korea Taiwan and AUSTRALIA GIRLS. Extra services available.

Price list:

30mins $50

45mins $70

60mins $85

provide

*Shower is available.

Contact 0410147556

9:30am -8pm

Prostate massage price list

15mins $100

30mins $120

45mins $140

60mins $170

Address~5A/64 marina boulevard Ocean Reef

Hello, Gentlemen,

Thank you for viewing my profile, how you’ve been? I’m your girl Judy. If you’re after a quality time accompanied by a beautiful classy lady I’m the one for you, as I offer an amazing service. I hope this is your first and last stop in the journey for searching for the perfect massage sensation.

My phone SMS number is 0410 970 363

Contact me via txt is much appreciated.

When we meet for the first time it will feel like a reunion, natural and easy, as if we already know each other. I will greet you with a friendly smile and a hug. We can relax together free from any judgment and as the mood changes we can enjoy more.

From the moment you see me I will make you feel totally relaxed, I aim to provide quality services and having you coming back for more.

In terms of services, I provide sensual relaxing massage, oil rub, Chinese Cupping therapy to relief tension in your muscles.

✨I have excellent body rub techniques to fully relax your body and mind✨

💝My body rub will reduce your tension and give you a sensual relax💝

Satisfaction and Enjoyment Awaits you........

Massage Service:

15 minutes ———$35

30 minutes ———$55

45 minutes ———$70

60 minutes ———$85

90 minutes ———$140

120 minutes ———$200

Traditional Chinese Massage:

Gliding Cupping Therapy - $50

Fire Cupping - $50

Judy can’t wait to see you xoxo

IM – Carly.

i'm 29. not some 22-year-old who thinks she invented the blowjob and calls it "slay queen head." nahhh honey, I've been draining balls dry since before TikTok was a thing. i got panties that have seen more frat houses than your entire pledge class, and they still look hotter on my floor than your ex's do on her finsta.

so lemme spell it out real quick...

i ain't your "girl next door who wants to cuddle and split a smoothie bowl." nope. i'm the one who'll push you onto the mattress, bite your earlobe, n growl "boy, you gonna fuck me like you're trying to get a promotion?" – then watch you get harder than a Marine on leave 💀💀

i LOVE sex. like... OBSESSED. not in a weird way – in a "i'll make you forget your own name, then teach you a new one" way. messy? hell no – *i* ain't messy. but the sheets? the headboard? that innocent little throw pillow you bought on Etsy? they'll look like a category five hurricane made a porno. you'll be gasping for air, i'll be purring like a caffeinated panther... and your next door neighbor's gonna need noise-canceling headphones and maybe a cigarette 💦💦💦

none of that boring "rose petals n acoustic playlist n let's talk about our feelings" bullshit. barf.

i want you to grab my hips – yeah these prime-age, life-ruining hips that have more rhythm than a dance floor at 2am – while i ride you like a mechanical bull set to "destroy." bounce bounce bounce 'til your eyes cross and you start reciting your social security number backwards. pull my hair – not enough to send me to a physical therapist, just enough to make me go "ohhh fuck" – then slap my ass so hard my period cramps disappear for a week. then kiss it right after like you're giving a TED Talk on aftercare... but we both know you meant every sting 😇

we can do that thing where i'm on all fours and you're behind me – and i look back with those "i've seen your browser history" eyes. i'll moan some name... maybe yours, maybe your roommate's – depends how good you are (kidding... unless you're into that weird shit, then tell me the lore, i'm invested 🤪)

n my mouth? oh boy. i give head that makes gym bros cry in the locker room and call their mothers. like, leg-shakin', soul-leavin', "i saw 

god and she asked me for tips" type head. 15 years of dedicated research, sweetheart – i can unlock kinks you didn't even know you had with my tongue. for real.

when it's time for the main course? you wrap that soldier up – no questions, no whining. i'm 29, not naive. i survived the pandemic, two recessions, and men who "swear they're clean." we play safe or we don't play at all. end of story.

i'm 29 goddamn years old – i know exactly what i want. and i know what you want too: a foul-mouthed, experienced woman who's also sweet enough to make you a snack afterwards and call you "my good boy." we finish? i'll curl up against you, trace your chest tattoo, nibble your ear, call you a good boy... then steal your hoodie and give you some solid investment advice on the way out – Roth IRA, baby, think about your future 🍟😘

——————————————————————

so yeah. you wanna taste this prime cut? then stop reading and hit me up.

TEXT me – don't fucking call. i ain't answering when i'm busy making some guy forget his ex's name (or teaching a grown man where the clit actually is 🌟).

i'll reply when i'm not drowning in dick or finishing my skincare routine – could be 5 min, could be 2 hrs. retinol takes time. deal with it.

——————————————————————

don't keep me waiting too long – i get real bratty when i'm wet and ignored, and at my age, that's a criminal waste of a fully-developed frontal lobe and a very dirty mind 😈💋

— Carly (29, prime body, PhD in dick-traction, still wetter than a sorority girl on syllabus week) 🔥🍆