Although there are many variations, sex parties—often called “play parties” in BDSM circles—are generally considered to be private or semi-public gatherings where attendees are permitted to have sex with one another, frequently in plain sight of other guests. Although attending a sex party of any kind may seem intimidating to those who are new to the scene, these events are frequently ideal for those who are shy but want to broaden their sexual horizons. Because everyone is there for the same (horny) reasons, parties might help you meet individuals who share your kinks and fetishes and may be eager to explore them with you. They can also help you feel less nervous about sex in general.
It is a common misperception that everyone who attends must have sex; many individuals go as voyeurs out of curiosity or with the full intention of getting sex but wind up changing their minds when they arrive. Because agreement is crucial—and frequently required—at any event worth attending, parties are also particularly excellent for those who are apprehensive. You deserve excellent sex, and parties are designed to help their guests have it, whether you’re planning to explore alone or with a partner. Here’s how to make your sex party debut with less anxiety and more joy politely and safely.
Before Attending a Sex Party
Choose The Appropriate Location
Perhaps you’ve been itching to attend a sex party for some time, but you’re unsure of where to go. The majority of significant cities include clubs and gathering places that accommodate a range of budgets and sexual orientations, and many of them throw parties or special events for newcomers. Start by looking up “swinger” or “adult” parties and clubs online, along with the name of your location and, if you identify as LGBTQ, “LGBTQ,” to see what’s available. Verify whether the establishments you locate have guest safety regulations and whether they align with your borders. You can use the public reviews that some clubs have on Google, Yelp, and Facebook to gain a broad idea of the club and the many events that they host.
Make Arrangements To Go Alone Or Bring A Companion Or Buddy
Going alone can make a larger group or a respectable club seem safer. Which you may be! It could be that you want to be more open to meeting other single people, that you’re self-conscious about coming with somebody who knows you in “the real world,” or that you just don’t know anyone with whom you feel comfortable enough to ask if they want to join you at an S&M party. I follow the first-date guidelines while checking out a new club: To make sure I made it home safely, I let a trusted buddy know that I’ll be out all night and where I’ll be so they could verify with me the following day.
Establish Clear Limits For Yourself In Advance
I’ve gone to big, mixed-sex gatherings where my main goal is to hang around in my underwear and make out with random people. I feel better at ease doing impact play at more petite women’s and femmes’ parties when I know the other guests, but I still dislike being completely nude. Learning what I was comfortable with takes time, so I took things easy and paid attention to how I felt. I went to a club for the first time to experience it and get a feel for the place. I have rigid boundaries (totally off limits) and soft borders (things that I might only be into, depending on the scene and overall ambiance of the event) at every party. I could firmly tell other guests, “I don’t do that,” or “I’ll see how I feel later,” at parties since I knew my boundaries.
Conclusion
Take some time to reflect on your life after attending a party if you follow the above advice (and do the identical thing with any of your buddies or partner(s) who accompanied you). Did you have a good time at the party? What aspects did you enjoy, and what could have been improved? It’s okay if you didn’t get to do all you wanted to do or experience everything that sex parties have to offer; it just makes you want to return now that you’re an expert and everything.