Does Your Partner Have The Right To Care About Your Body Count?

We’ve all been there, you’re at that point where your relationship is starting to get more serious, and the dreaded topic of your sexual past comes up. Some of us refuse point blank to be open about this, as many believe that who we have slept with in the past is no one else’s business and that past relationships are nothing to do with new ones. However, there are a lot of people out there that see a potential partners sexual history as important- and they want to know all about it. The question is, does your partner or potential partner really have the right to care about this?
 
For me - as a straight woman that has dated a lot of men – I’m not afraid to admit that I find this a touchy subject. Generally speaking, if a partner of mine persists in asking me and it seems important to them, I will be open and honest. However, if it’s not brought up or I know the other person doesn’t care, I breathe a sigh of relief. This is because I’ve had my fair share of partners that have told me they don’t care, but after I tell them my relatively high number, I can see that it becomes a problem. I refuse to lie as I’m an honest and open person and I don’t want my relationships to be built on lies. However, from my previous experience it seems that a lot of men just don’t like the idea of their girlfriend having slept with more people than they have.

I think that this is due to long-standing attitudes towards male and female sexuality in society.  In general, women that sleep around are often looked down on and are labelled easy or slutty. I even heard a male friend of mine once say he wrote a girl off that he had been on a few dates with because he found out that she was in ‘double digits’. Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, men are praised for sleeping with women and are praised for being a player or a lad.

However, I do believe that this is starting to change. With feminism has come a new attitude towards women’s sexuality and it is far more common now for a woman to be able to sleep around. I do think that men still have it easier, but I think the direction that society in heading in is nothing but positive. Everyone should have the right to experiment and date whoever they want without having to worry about being judged by those around them.

When approaching this issue in the context of a relationship, I understand that it is not so straight forward as our opinions of each other are based more on emotion and passion as opposed to rationale and fact. I understand it can be harder to trust someone that’s slept around a lot and it is never nice bumping into your partners exes. However, I feel that if you truly want to be with someone, you have to accept all of them including their history. I don’t think it is fair to judge someone for something they did before they even met you.

At the end of the day its personal choice whether your partner or potential partner’s body count is an issue for you.  You should just do your best to communicate with each other and do what is best for the both of you. Let’s be honest, a lot of us lie about it anyway.
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