We, humans, are mysterious beings. What makes my boat float may not make yours float, and as for attraction? Different attributes, especially in a spouse, attract us all. Different aspects of a person, including their sense of humor, height, gender, eye color, confidence, background, morality, goals, and occupation, will matter to us to varying degrees.
Numerous identities exist, including bisexual, heterosexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, and queer, but sapiosexuality is one that you may not have heard of. But if you spend a great deal of time online, you've probably heard of sapiosexuality.
Does it get you hot and bothered to hear someone speak passionately about their favorite book? Have you ever had a crush on your lecturer because they are so intelligent? You might be sapiosexual if you answered yes to any of these questions.
Sapiosexuality Characterized
The most fundamental definition of sapiosexuality is the attraction to intelligent people.
A sapiosexual is more interested in what's going on in a possible partner's head than in their physical appearance or other attributes and is more captivated by someone displaying their large intellect than their biceps. As with any sexual identity, sapiosexuality is a spectrum; therefore, the intellect may not be the only trait that a sapiosexual seeks in a partner, but it will be near the top of the list.
What Does A Relationship With A Sapiosexual Potentially Look Like?
In the early stages of a relationship, light talk is common, but a sapiosexual is eager to get to the heart of the matter on the first date. They want to know what you're enthusiastic about, what you think about current events, and if you're interested in visiting that new museum exhibit on your second date. The ability or inability of a person to keep up could be a deal-breaker.
Think of hours-long, in-depth chats about shared mutual interests or Saturday afternoons spent investigating whatever it is you're passionate about, whether that's through a class or tickets to a lecture series at a nearby institution (bonus points if one of you is the person giving the lecture). In terms of dates, a sapiosexual is mostly concerned with "Where will we travel and what are our plans?
The Debate Around Sapiosexuality
The primary argument against sapiosexuality is that it is either imperious or fundamentally ableist and classist."
Those with learning difficulties and neurodiversity are excluded.
It favors traditional indicators of intelligence such as degrees and passport stamps, which are frequently less accessible to poor individuals.
This opposition makes logic, given that sapiosexuality might emerge as a desire for those who have studied a particular style of literature, earned a particular degree, or attended a particular institution.
Moreover, because the term exists mostly online, identifying as sapiosexual implies a level of access to technical resources that are not shared by all individuals.
How Widespread Is Sapiosexuality?
Self-identification as sapiosexual is the only requirement for sapiosexuality. With some dating sites now offering the option to identify as "sapiosexual," the concept is undoubtedly gaining popularity.
A study reveals that at least 90% of people prefer a mate who is intelligent, suggesting that the proportion may be substantially higher. To clarify, caring whether a spouse is intelligent is distinct from being explicitly aroused by intelligence. So how can one determine if they are sapiosexual? More information is provided below.
Is Sapiosexuality A Genuine Sexual Orientation, Or Is It More Of A Preference For Dating?
Sapiosexuality may appear to some as a preference for the types of persons one prefers to date rather than sexual orientation or identity that must be established. Sapiosexuality is not universally applicable.
Any sexual orientation is profoundly individual. You have the authority to define who you are and how you feel, as you are the expert on yourself. And shouldn't that be the case?
Five Indicators That You May Be Sapiosexual
Perhaps you're wondering, "Aren't we all drawn to intelligence?" It can be difficult to determine whether you are sapiosexual or merely value intelligence in a spouse. Fortunately, there are a few indications that you are sapiosexual and not just an admirer of intelligence.
You Have A Connection To This Article
Did you hesitate upon reading the definition of sapiosexuality? Does this definition make sense to you? If so, you may be sapiosexual! As with other identifying characteristics, the only requirement for sapiosexuality is the following: "I identify as sapiosexual."
You Believe That "Smart" Is The Greatest Compliment
Sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence the most. Intelligence is significantly more important than style, humor, honesty, or maturity.
You may be sapiosexual if the first thing you say about your crush is something like, "They're so brilliant!" or "I could chat to them for hours about X."
You Were Drawn To A Person Based On Their Intelligence
Consider the history of your attraction. Can you recall a time when you felt apathetic or "meh" towards a person until one of the following occurred?
• You observed them reading a book you admire or have also appreciated.
• The chat you had with them was thought-provoking.
• You discovered their occupation or pastime.
• You discovered where they attended school.
· You read their opinions on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and their blog.
You may be sapiosexual if you've ever experienced a change in your attraction to someone after learning about or interacting with them in a way that established their intellect.
You Have Lost Interest In Someone Due To Their Lack Of Intelligence
On the other hand, if you've ever lost interest in someone after having a political, intellectual, or spiritual discourse with them or after reading their work, you may also be sapiosexual.
You Felt Impelled To Have Sex Following An Intelligent Talk Or Incident
Have you ever had the impulse to engage in masturbation after viewing a Netflix documentary? Have you ever struggled with your zipper during an engaging presentation or conversation? Have you ever rushed home to your significant other after visiting a bookstore?
All of them indicate that, for you, intellectual stimulation is intimately related to sexual stimulation, which is typical of sapiosexuals.
When it comes to selecting a label (or labels) that best represents your sexuality, orientation, and/or preferences, no single term could possibly convey who you are and what you're drawn to. Use the term "sapiosexual" if it best expresses how you experience attraction. It exists for a purpose because regardless of how you want to identify, keep in mind that no one understands you better than yourself.