Dom vs. Sub: Which One Are You?

• You have no problem being demanding. Many people struggle with communicating what they want in sex. Whether or not it’s because they’re shy, introverted, afraid of being shut down; voicing out your wants can be pretty daunting sometimes. Not for you! The first thing your partners notice about you is how vocal you are about your needs. Maybe you always want to be on top, want him/her to get on his knees –telling people to do what you want is not something you’d ever get tired of.

• You’re also nurturing. BDSM sex isn’t always about shaming and degrading! Most of the time, it’s about creating a safe space that allows both participants to be 100% comfortable with whatever they are doing. If you’re a Dom, this caring attentiveness comes naturally to you. You have a knack for taking care of people to the point where it even reflects on your daily life. People naturally flock to you because they feel safe around you and trust your judgment. You’re trustworthy, reliable and always on the look out for others.
   
• You can dirty talk like a pro. Many Doms come and go, but it’s the dirty talk that makes you one worth remembering. Your dirty talk isn’t one that’s forced (from watching too many pornos or reading Cosmo) but rather it’s a skill that you learn quickly from your naturally charming persona. You can get people to do what you want, when you want –using the gift of the gab alone.

You’re a Sub if: -

• You’re naturally a people pleaser. A lot of people underestimate the role of the Sub! It’s not just lying there and waiting for instructions, but requires much more dedication than that. A good Sub understands that they also have to appeal to the Doms more hidden needs and wants, and always being receptive to their mood swings. In real life, Subs might take on the role of the intermediate person between clients or organizations –they’re just that good at knowing what people really want!

• You enjoy humiliation and adrenaline. This comes with the job obviously, but its definitely a lot more than meets the eye. The Sub doesn’t just enjoy mindless humiliation, but there’s usually a reason for it. Fear, for instance is a great motivator. Subs enjoy the adrenaline rush of high intensity activities; which also translates in the bedroom. They live off the sense of doing something that’s forbidden, and BDSM is an exceptional outlet to do that in a safe setting.